[March 2, 2019].
I am following the technique of placing attention on attention, and meta-attention, and further meta-awareness on meta-awareness. It appears that the angels are waiting for me to complete this, so I continue. Eventually I have a vision of chaos of all awareness, which in my mind seems like a whirling cloud: it’s a lot for me to handle, so I continue to gaze into the mirror. I see a bit of a pond. They instruct me to close my eyes, so I see a stream emptying into a pond. This parallels the nature field visions from prior Aethyrs. I’m reminding myself of lovingkindness; I continue on that meditation for a bit.
I’m staring into the pond, and from it arises a great angel. The angel is appearing to some extent on the HTOP. I’m trying to maintain awareness and union. It’s a large—probably 7- or 8-foot angel. He’s taking me by the hand. We’re walking upon the water. I am—he sets me upon the ground, and I am, partly on account of my meditative state, I am turning into millions and billions of particles. These are swirling, and he is swirling himself in a similar manner, and he instructs me to take on my human form (usually it’s the other way around), so I do that. As part of this, I put awareness on awareness—and I’m going to take this a step further and continue to put Briatic and Yetziratic and Atziluthic awareness on awareness, all sort of returning me to that same spot, and so on: infinite regress. This is a lot for my mind to take on (I strain at the concentration). That’s okay: I’m noticing these changes and I am doing the infinite regress thing and putting awareness on just my physical and metaphysical state.
I’m instructed to breathe, so I’m breathe. I can feel the energy throughout my physical body change, so I put my meta-awareness on all of that, and putting myself back into that state of union [with awareness], and then putting awareness on that union repeatedly, and I’m feeling this very large current of energy now, and he instructs me that this is the path to the ultimate union, and to continue on that path, and that he is very pleased with the progress. I’m very grateful for such progress, but I’m trying to avoid an ego boost, but he says it’s nothing, it
is a delusion and it [consciousness] is merely a flow, so I’m feeling it in my solar plexus right now. He is linking it—he is showing me earth—but he doesn’t want it to be too much of an earthly feeling, so he’s taking me up into heaven.
In heaven, this same feeling in my solar plexus is extending out to, in this lightning-like way, to all of these other beings in heaven. He says this is Chokmah, and to continue that meditative state, and so I do, putting awareness on awareness, meta-awareness, and awareness on union, and I’m including, because this is now the case, the object of awareness is heaven itself. I’m proceeding to put awareness on awareness on heaven itself, (I strain) and it is very powerful feeling energy right now that is opening up, and the angel says to hold off, to just take it down a step. I say, “OK.” He says this is going to continue to get more intense as I continue through [the Aethyrs]. He instructs me that this is the proper path for me to do it, this is well worth the while, and I’m—even as I’m expressing concern about the amount of energy [expended]—he says to just continue with it, to continue with this method.
So I say “Okay.” My mind flits upon the watchtowers [that I have yet to build], he says that everything is already here and coming together. I’m looking at alternative ways [to build the watchtowers], needed to build it. [Here the angel provides instructions to build the watchtower tablets that I made in my possession.] He mentions that the angels like geometry. He tells me to continue at my job; I say “OK.” He reminds me that that which I desire is grand, difficult, but not impossible. He notes my interest in political engagement; he informs me that truly this inner focus is more important right now; he reminds me that these are vicissitudes. I ask about the moral nature of my preferred candidate, whom he says is very moral; I ask if it is plausible, wise, and in the nature of the Divine Will to help this candidate win, and I am getting a very affirmative yes. Indeed, at this moment, it is not merely a matter of if but when I should move forward politically: “For behold, it has been destined.” This generates skepticism in me on account of that affirmation, just because I understand the nature of this [i.e., that spirits often flatter].
I ask if there is anything they would like to share for my magical colleagues. The angel tells me that God is waking the minds of humanity, and that people who practice magick are carrying out their co-divine role in the cosmos…that it should be turned (if it is to be done in the most appropriate manner) toward this liberation of human consciousness and setting humanity into its state of sustainability and expansion (e.g., into the cosmos). I express skepticism, but he tells me to be silent on that matter [Editorial note: there is tension between sustainability and expansion). I say, “OK,” but acknowledge my own divinity, so he bows to my own as well. There suddenly seems to be a great deal of angels who appear at this point. I remember to practice lovingkindness and once again to place attention on attention. He tells me that every time I do this consistently and with enough effort I will be reminded once again of my state of nature. So, I allow the vision to continue and I’m packed full of angels around me. I’m seeing a very solid—it’s as if goldened iron, or cast into this very strong steel—or, you throw in the mercurial quality of mercury with the denseness of lead—they [all of these kinds of metals] are all merging together, and this is how the path before me is laid out. And I’m getting a message: if it is [your] True Will to be wise, then the acts carried out with respect to that True Will are to gain and act from Wisdom, which means that they will always be ever-changing. They will be much more mercurial, and indeed I’m shown this sort of direct line of uniting different natures.
At any rate I feel there’s a very large contingent of angelic forces. There’s a feeling of mutual respect; a very large nexus, which for someone who is an introvert to become aware of, having an extremely extroverted spiritual side—seeing all of these angels and interacting with them [is ironic]. I thank the angels for their time and for their wisdom and their insight, and with that the vision ends.