I’m very pleased to announce that I’ve had another podcast appearance with Ryan Villa on Praxis Behind the Obscure, Episode 19 (a fitting number)! We talk about Enochian, angels, gebofal, Buddhism, and so much more, and of course we had a great time: check it out here!
Gebofal, Day 45
Note: None of what follows constitutes medical advice. Consult your physician before making any changes to your health-related habits.
Sunrise: Call/Key 5, (most practitioners refer to this as call 4, for it is the 4th spoken call). Call to King Babalel. Call to Governors Nocamal (LIT), Tahamdo and Nociabi (OXO), and Ozidaia and Calzirg (LIN) and their respective Zodiacal Kings Alpudus, Zarzilg, Lavavoth, Arfaolg and Arfaolg.
King Babelel arises, and shows himself to be a mixture of water and fire, but now also earth. He shows himself digging through the earth, plottingly and ploddingly. He shows me the many different qualities of earth, and the admixtures that can come thereby. He specifically asks me to consider that the power of Natural Substances to be related to matter itself. So, whereas we had with the four fundamental forces relating to the elements (earth to gravity, water to strong force, air to weak force, and fire to electromagnetism), here he says we can also liken them to the four usual states of matter (not made in a lab): solid to earth, liquid to water, gas to air, and plasma to fire.
“Let’s consider what it would mean to have a Martially separating action among earth,” King Babalel continues. Naturally there are earthquakes, but relating this to Natural Substances, he says, his power is strongest in the sense of the natural foods that one could eat and what they are composed of. He also bids me consider the soil in which such foods are grown, and ensuring that it is proper for growth and the taking in of these natural substances.
Turning to Medicine, King Babalel mentions the powder that stops bleeding, which is also of the power of Natural Substances. I concentrate on lovingkindness and the connection with him. He notes the long cycles of Natural Substances, the long preparation that it takes to discover the power and structure of a natural substance. There needs to be a great deal of planning and will (Mars); the heat of Mars is excellent for something as cold and aloof as understanding Natural Substances, he wryly says.
“It took a very long time for chemistry to come about in its fullness,” King Babalel notes, and it was just gaining that term in Dee’s day. In this case, chemistry can be understood as the individual structure of atoms and molecules, King Babalel comments (i.e., of points fixed relative to one another). The actual chemical structure of a molecule would fall under this; a chemist can immediately recognize at a glance the name of a chemical based on its diagrammed structure. Knowing this and how the geometry of two different molecules come together and form a larger structure in three dimensions: this is the real power of Natural Substances, he says.
Applying this to Medicine, there’s an even larger structure that needs to be accounted for, King Babalel continues: how to get through a cell wall or membrane that has its own physico-chemical structure via some kind of chemical lock-and-key mechanism. All of this, he says, is the power of Natural Substances and of Medicine. Of course, he continues there’s also energetic grounding with respect to Medicine, such as meditation, gardening, or running. Those sorts of things are indeed of his power of Medicine with respect to elemental earth.
He says he thinks that these are enough examples. He says that if I continue to meditate on density, structure, and finally how that relates to medicine and natural substances, that I should continue to understand more. He notes that sometimes one simply needs more of a mineral, amino acid, or vitamin in order to feel better: with respect to diet, these belong to Mars in Capricorn, he says. There’s the emotional and nurturing component to Cancer, yet the reality of what is in what is eaten: such is Mars in Capricorn.
“That’s it,” King Babalel concludes. I express my gratitude, and the vision ends.
Noon: Similar procedure.
Once again, I see King Babalel emerging, and now I see myself in an black, elementally earthen sphere, with the four colors again coming from the inside of the sphere. At first I’m within the Terran plane, but I’m taken up into heaven soon after. And now I see four tunnels open in front of me, and again, the same whitish admixture of elemental earth, water, air, and fire comes from all of them, suffusing me. I’m feeling almost a sense of a third coronation, or perhaps a preview thereof. King Babalel says that it’s time, so I accept the crowning with humility. I thank him and all of the angels present.
I ask why this is happening earlier compared to the visions of the previous two days? King Babalel replies, “The Lord wisheth to speak more with thee about a specific topic related to you this evening. Let your heart be glad. Once again, meditate on these powers, and they will be revealed unto you.”
He says he has nothing further. Thus ends the vision(!).
Note: As I type this up, it occurs to me how the symbolism here matches exactly the structure of Enochian. For a third time (and in all likelihood, a fourth tomorrow) I have been taken into a sphere, and this sphere has four colors within it, yet one without. This parallels the circle and square motif I’ve noticed.
Sunset: Similar procedure.
I feel a lot of energy coming up off of Leaf 5. I see three connecting spokes from from a handwheel to a hatch. They are turning along with the handwheel in a counter-clockwise rotation, and the hatch opens. King Babalel is behind it, and silently bids me enter into this blindingly bright light in the space behind the hatch.
Everything in my subtle body is gearing up in my subtle body now, and I’m in this light, in this light, the light of the Divine, the light of the Divine. I’m told to “Relax, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: Yea, my Very Son. Relax completely now.
“My Very Son, you look at the Trinity with amazement and befuddlement. Spirit, Body, Soul: and yet have you not already seen this in the Trinity of the religion in which you were raised?” (Christianity). “‘Mediator’ be the word that you are looking for. Mediation: that Unique Thing which brings into reconciliation the other Two.”
“I don’t know what to say, o my Lord,” I whisper.
“Triple-crowned king though you may be, there be indeed one more crown that may be offered unto thee, and note: the triple-crowned King Carmara would thus be crowned about you as the four kings of the Watchtower tablets. And so he be able to mediate, and two given kings, but by any two, he can thus mediate all of them. And you, in thy mediation, o Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth, will have his crown as well. For you will be able to slip in between all of the different rules: between fire and earth, between water and fire, between earth and air, and between air and water.
“Thus will you be able to mediate among them as you see fit, and you will see fit on account of the perception that I will lay before you, that will be fused with your very being, much as you have come to know how fused you are with the universe in which you operate. Therefore, rejoice, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth, for clarity will be given to you, much as clarity hath been given to you at many times throughout this process. So shall this be a permanent clarity, and it will be as if you can step behind any given situation and, to use the phrase that Jessa Reed constantly refers to, you will be able to manipulate the ‘wiring underneath the board.’
“Your heart has so many places it wishes to go, but the main thing be: how to allow others the means to transcend suffering, in all of the various ways that it may be transcended. Let this be your lode star. Let the Work upon thy Heart continue: in Its Joy, in Its Sorrow, in Its Pain, in Its Pleasure, in Its Pettiness, and in Its Grandeur: let It endure. Let It continue. Let it go through all of the levels of the Heart. Blessings be upon you now, my Very Son.”
“I give thanks to Thee, o Lord.”
“I hereby grant my blessing unto you.”
Thus ends the vision.
Gebofal, Day 41
Sunrise: Call/Key 9, (because the true first key “was not to be spoken,” most practitioners refer to this as call 8). Call to King Baligon. Call to Godnames “MOR,” “DIAL,” “HCTGA.”
King Baligon appears in an earthen form, but now appears as a forest or field king within nature. He notes the obvious: Venus is now in Taurus, which is in alignment with today as Venus’ of the week, as well as with the Earth tablet under my feet (of course, King Baligon’s seal rests upon that, and he is associated with Venus). He says he will speak briefly, but I reply that he of course may speak at whatever length he chooses.
King Baligon indicates via placing an thin earthen sphere about me, that I have some of these powers already within me. He is going to magnify it and bring it into its fullness, he says. He shows me the obvious act of digging into earth. Yesterday, he says, I was given the image of water washing off the dirt. This time he points downward that humans have come to learn that precious stones come from the power of Earth, whether that be compression (in the case of diamonds) or magma cooling. He also points to gold and says that it’s a rarity, left here by stars many years ago. Everything that was said yesterday about that golden diamond reflecting something inward, to the human mind, is true. There’s beauty therein.
Now he points to gnomes, and we think of them as related to elemental earth, and he bids me watch what they do. Now I see an image of a proper mine, and I see one, among many, who is swinging a pickaxe into a wall of a mine. The idea here is that eventually if you go through with the pickaxe and make your way through all of this dirt, eventually you will reach what you’re looking for.
Then King Baligon points to several things about a proper mine. First, care is taken such that the earth above does not crush the miners: supports and such. This is a power associated with mining and gold and precious stones. Then, the ability to recognize a glint of ore, or to feel it by indirect contact, or even to have a sixth sense as to where it is: this would also be a power associated with gold and precious stones.
Obviously, we want the thing to be beautiful, so the hammering of the gold into shape, the planning of the shape, the measuring of a finger for, say, a gold diamond ring to fit about it: all of these things are related to the actual shape of the final object itself, and belong to the powers of Gold and Precious Stones as they relate to elemental earth. As an aside, he adds that the knowledge of metals, which come from Prince Bornogo, can be combined in this manner. Continuing, he says that having a beautiful shape of the golden jewelry in mind, this also belongs to this earth aspect of the power of Gold and Precious Stones. Any time that there needs to be a certain arrangement that the stones would need to be fixed upon, that is pleasing to the eye: that sense of pleasantness and elegance, of things looking right. To some degree a conceptual degree of elegance could come with Venus in Gemini or Venus in Aries (for the latter has a good sense of conceptual elegance: what would make a perfectly beautiful extent of where one element ends and where another begins–which is why they make very good fighters!). He says that in particular, the pleasant arrangement that earthiness brings here is like a beautiful arrangement for a feast, which looks good before anyone sits down (whereas if considering where and how people sat mattered, such would belong more to Venus in Libra).
As far as transportation is concerned, earth brings consideration of weight and lading: understanding just how much can be gotten away with in terms of weight when it comes to travel, or what a reasonable or practical amount that one could or should be laden with in order to travel from one point to another. Understanding this very well in terms of precision would be related to Virgo: what ought to be shed and kept and the meticulous planning thereby. Having a general sense of whether the trip would even be worth it: such would be Taurus–but he says that we’ll get into each sign at the noon scrying: “It seems to work very well for you.”
King Baligon says to continue to try to find the correct combination of servient angels to match the numbers in the remaining calls. “It’s worthwhile and it’s pleasing unto the Lord that this work is done.”
I ask whether King Baligon has anything further in his generosity and mercy; “No,” he replies, “this is it. Thanks be unto God.”
Thus ends the vision.
Noon: Similar procedure. This is the famous “Pagesgem” half-leaf, 9a:
The vision starts with a subtle flash of light appearing in the upper-right of my field of vision. Nothing further happens, so I relax, and King Baligon bids me do so further. I note aloud that I would seem to indirectly be calling upon Prince Bornogo by having my left hand upon this leaf. “Here be Michael,” says King Baligon, a clear reference to Michael as the archangel of the sun, “but if you had the entire one, of course, Raphael.” This confirms Raphael as the archangel of Tiphareth, and Michael as the archangel of its planetary ruler. Yet as to what “the entire one” refers, I do not know.
I continue to relax into the vision. King Baligon says that we will just briefly touch on the powers that we haven’t touched on already. Getting back to the vision of the mine: the structure of what it takes to have a mining operation in place, or to discover gold or precious stones (time, safety, discipline, things like that)–the proper structure of building of that up: such, I’m told, belongs to Capricorn.
“We’ve already gone over Taurus a little bit, mainly [in the power] to distinguish what is beauty, and what actually has value, sometimes both of those together, sometimes one and not the other,” King Baligon says, “such is Taurus.” Being able to make a plan as to how to arrange the points and shapes–the overall sense of beauty is Taurus, but the overall plan to make the shapes and to distinguish one part from another, and to purify generally the gold and precious stones–melting points in the case of gold, for example–these are Virgo.
Now I’m getting the sense that Prince Bornogo wishes to arrive and assist with King Baligon, and I’m happy with that. King Baligon says this is possible only by the natural correspondence between Venus (during the hour of which he is to be called), as well as the sympathy between King Baligon and King Carmara (and their similar seals), the latter of whom with his prince, Hagonel, can switch the rules of Heptarchical manifestation around slightly.
I’m getting this sense of the sense of self, which is reflected in gold; Prince Bornogo says that the particular power of gold to reflect the individual is quite important. There is something about that inner empty mind that is seen, and that being able to distinguish one (possibly meaning true empty mind) from the next (a false sense of empty mind)–here we’re speaking metaphorically, in the sense of gold being able to reflect something that silver and other metals, in some ways, seems to corrupt slightly. The property that gold has is that it is such a rare element (relative to, say, iron), which comes from supernovae of eons past, (though perhaps not as rare as other metals), and which doesn’t tend toward radioactive decay. There’s something about how it reflects the heart of the sun, which is to be taken into account (when considering the Powers of Gold), and so the seeking of pure gold from alchemical (metaphorical) point of view, vs. the physical point of view, is not something to be discounted, because there is something very true and unique to an individual. There is the True Will, which one can begin to get a sense of by entering into Tiphareth, which one could potentially get at by a true sense of self, but it’s a very delicate process, Prince Bornogo says: that’s why it’s at the very heart of the sun.
“As far as precious stones,” King Baligon asks, “why are diamonds the best? It is the most valuable of all of the precious stones on account of the density and fixity of the points in relation to each other, the sheer packing of carbon atoms so closely and strongly together. There’s something poetic about that substance [carbon] which makes life possible, when it is given to itself, creates something that life itself seems attracted to.” Combined that with the heart of oneself, and the true focus of oneself (i.e., metaphorical gold), this is all very important. I ask if there’s anything additional as far as the astrological assignments go. I’m told quickly that Taurus understand the value, Capricorn the importance of focusing oneself over the long haul, so gold retains its value, and Capricorn is very much aware of that. Virgo energy, Prince Bornogo tells me, is especially good at distinguishing one thing from another, one stone from another: it has that power, and will seek the means to do so. Virgo also seems to have within it, especially if Mercury be there, this capacity to get at the heart of the sun, especially now that Regulus is there, he hastens to add. It has within it this means, merely by reflecting on the self, to begin to draw up the true sense of oneself.
Now I get some energy coming up off of the leaf. The royal angels say that this leaf is special, and represents the beginning of the final nine days, “in which the forty and the nine will be made clear unto you, much of which you have already expressed and discovered, but much more awaits.” I get the sense, and perhaps this is coming early–perhaps Prince Bornogo will have more to say in the evening, but I feel like all of the remaining (elemental earth) powers of gold and precious stones are being granted unto me early. Prince Bornogo nods, and once again I feel–a bit weighty, but not too bad–as all of these powers are being embedded within my subtle body system. Both Prince Bornogo and King Baligon are saying yes, this is a building process: “You have indeed lain out an excellent model, and the clarity of the trinity will be made clear unto you. Suffice it to say, it’s a bit of ‘the thing, its opposite, and the mediator. Much as God the Father, and Jesus Christ (who is of the earthly realm, and yet still Divine), so, too, is the Holy Spirit a mediator between the Two, and is mediator between the Father and anyone who has attained Christ Consciousness.”
I feel this elaborate and ornate Christian cross, but now it seems to be equal-armed cross, made of gold. At the ends I’m seeing all of these discs upon discs, making their way out from the ends of the cross. It’s gorgeous. They show it wrap about me, now, becoming two rings of a sphere or orb along the xy– and yz– planes, and now a third comes about me along the xz– plane. It is like unto a monarch’s orb, and it is rotating with jewels encrusted within it. It is like unto the Ophanim, except that the jewels are as unto eyes, or the eyes are as unto jewels, or somewhere in between. With all of this, much can be seen, and much can also be reflected back. It’s beautiful, whirling around now, taking on this energy. It is flaming a bit, but it is embedding itself within the throne of the Most High, which I see rolling around (note the power of transportation implicit in this image!). At first I see a figure on the throne who looks like me, but now it is empty, save for a point hovering in the very center. It is is a large throne, at first seeming 20 feet high, but now more like 200 feet high. The dimensionality is changing rapidly.
I ask, “What is there for me to hear, if you all, in your mercies, have something further to say, or to show?” At this, the throne splits vertically in two, and it’s like I come into the split, but then it unites into one again, and I become embedded within the throne. “This is the process now,” I’m told. “Tomorrow you will have the fullness of the powers of gold and precious stones, but the true meaning of them will be revealed unto you, and it is a meaning which shall stand this test of time: the reconciliation of Tiphareth, of Binah, and, yea, of Kether, in its fullness, and of Chokmah, naturally.” (Note: this could be a pulling in or reconciliation of Adam Qadmon with the Tree of Life, or it could be additional work done on the Tree of Life before I can proceed further into the realm of Adam Qadmon.)
I feel my subtle body system being tuned up again: it’s like I’m being lifted up. My crown chakra is sort of opening up, and I see it opening up like unto a leaf, or a blossom, but it’s like the angels are telling me, “Reach the tip of the leaf, reach the tip of the leaf!”
Thus ends the vision: thanks be to God.
Sunset: Similar procedure, but neglected to call on the god names of “MOR,” “DIAL,” and “HCTGA” until after the vision, during the vision, a great deal of distracting noise.
I feel a great deal of energy coming up off the leaf. King Baligon appears, and there is a great deal of energy coming up off of the leaf. Prince Bornogo is present, but does not come to the fore. King Baligon bids me relax, and speaks to the Excel solver which I have running, and suggests adding the duplicate numbers of servient angels back in (for so far, no solution has emerged).
He bids me relax again, and a third time. I try to do so. Now I see lightning come down about me, and there’s this earthen sphere about me (or several rings about a common polarity), which is also part lightning. It’s like this energized earth, or Uranian earth. It is all about me, and it is taking me throughout time, and I’m getting the sense from Prince Bornogo that this sphere is metals which are of an earthen nature, “For, yea, they tend to be found in the earth, are they not?”
“Yes,” I agree. It’s like I’m seeing the heavens themselves rip open once again, and I see an eye look through the tear at me (for the sky itself is its eyelid), and the pupil of this eye is the source of this lightning descending all about me in a nearly straight line. It’s like I’m hovering within some kind of electrical spherical cage, and the energy about me now seems to close in, and it’s permeating about my entire system, and, yes! It feels like my entire subtle body system is changing, and my hands are being magnetized. It feels like this is merely the first step, and the angels say, “Yes, for such energy shall come down upon thee in the full might of the Lord, or nearest so much as you can handle.”
I’m totally confused (“and that’s okay,” I remark). So I’m looking about me for any sort of clue right now, but it’s just this energetic, energetic, energetic, energetic…and I’m trying my best to maintain this lovingkindness all about me, and this causes the cage of rings about the pole to open before me, and I am allowed to rest in a bed. Yet this bed seems to have a life of its own! It seems to be taking me to and fro, and it seems like there’s no end to where I’m going, and there is a lot of light about me. Eventually I hear the word “Stop.”
The angels say, “Examine your heart, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: continue to examine it, day in and day out. Allow the lovingkindness within you to pour out, a hundredfold, a thousandfold, ten-thousandfold from where you have it now, and, yea, even more, so it will be pleasing unto the Most High.”
Thus ends the vision!
Gebofal, Day 30: Highest Aethyr, LIL
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of LIL. Call to King Blumaza. Note: If you’ve never done Enochian, this Aethyr is quite powerful. After scrying this Aethyr the first time in 2019, I took steps to try to initiate myself into Chokmah and, for this Aethyr, Kether. After meeting with some success thereby, I was able to deepen the vision of this.
I see this pure, white sphere. It’s like it’s trying to shine out all of these different colors, and I feel my crown chakra lifting and raising up. There’s a lot of lightning coming off of this sphere now, and now it is so bright because it is reflecting all of the light which ever has come to reflect off of it. It is blindingly light now, and I am being wrapped up in a beam from it. It is holding me and taking me into a cocoon and it is taking me inside of itself.
This is the Diving Heart of Hearts. I approach the Center, and I’m slowly decelerated as I approach It. When I look about me, I see all of these thousands of millions of possibilities of beings, and I’m having compassion towards all of them, all of these lives lived, moments of Joy, Sorrow, Horror, and Peace. I’m seeing them through millions and billions of species’ eyes. I’m just trying to maintain this level of compassion for all of them.
I feel all of these moments come through me now, rotating from the outside to the Center, where I am, as through a torus, and I continue to have this rotation, and as I speed it up…it’s like they’re both at this Center and about the Surface of the Sphere simultaneously. No longer is this a rotation, this is a humming, a sympathetic vibration.
Now I feel the energy coming up off the leaf, the table, and the seal of King Blumaza under my foot. I hold this compassion, and await any message from the Divine. There’s such a beautiful feeling of peace right now; it’s like I’m lying in a bed of Compassion and the feeling that comes over me from lying there is Peace.
“Oh, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: this which you have sought for so long, it be only 19 days hence. I have put it in your Heart to read this first leaf, for it was to be read. Know this, that such Love is neither earned nor unearned, it is neither conditional nor unconditional, for this is PRONOA: it merely is. It is always available to you and to your fellow human beings, and to the animals and to the plants and to all of this life upon this planet Terra, or in English known as Earth: CAOSG.
“It is always available unto you, if you look for it, if you seek it, if you steep yourself in it, and all of its infinite varieties. The Love of solving a complex problem, the Love of merely holding one who is mourning, the Love of joining in to the rejoicing of grand moments of Beauty. It is always available unto you.
“And now, feel you this change about your subtle body as you prepare to enter into this realm of Adam Qadmon. Feel it in its fullness, for I am the One True God, and show Myself in Many Different Aspects, many different divinities, for all gods are One God, and what there is to be known and what is to be grokked, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: it is far beyond your understanding, and I will merely do what can be done to bring it out in you, to unfold it in you, to make it more visible to you, to give you Perspective, yea: Coelispex, so that you, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth, may help unfold it in others, and be able to unfold it in all of its infinite variety: TON DAMPLOZ.
“Such Love have I to you, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth, and to All. For All may come unto me. All may know this Love. Fear not the words which arise out of your mouth, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth, for the Spirit of the Lord is with you and speaketh through you. Yea, even when thou knowest it not.”
My voice is caught in my throat: “O God, is there anything else?”
“No, Son of God, Son of Man, Son of Earth: you have two more times to call upon this today. You will know it in its fullness this evening: yea, when you repeat the word ‘LIL’ seven times. Such sevenfold depth you will know, and then, 19 days hence, you will enter into this realm of Adam Qadmon, and you will realize this rainbow body. Much love unto thee. Commence now.”
Union, and then: “Such Beauty there is in this, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth. I have nothing else for you today, until you call me again at noon, and again at sunset. Much love to you, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: remember always: God hath such love, hath such PRONOA, for thee.”
The vision ends.
Commentary: I see the phrase “One True God” as the Divine identifying the truth of unity, and “show Myself in Many Different Aspects, many different divinities, for all gods are One God,” as the Divine unifying across all panthea (e.g., possibly panentheism) “and what there is to be known and what is to be grokked, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: it is far beyond your understanding” as an obvious reference to my limits. So, please, be forgiving if this doesn’t match up with your worldview. Peace and love, peace and love!
Noon: Similar procedure.
The angels have me make some physical adjustments. Again I see a white sphere, this time with a vertical ring about it; I note that it reminds me of the rings of Uranus, and doing so causes it to appear a bit more bluish, but it returns to white shortly. The ring comes undone at the point farthest from me and once again approaches and enfolds me like a cocoon, and again takes me to the center.
Again, I see the interior of the sphere, and I slowly come to a pause. I see again all of the experiences of all of the beings, and God is once again showing me all of the possibilities which could not be (i.e., foreclosed based on actualizing certain previous possibilities). God shrinks down the pictures of actual experiences of beings and now I see this vast space between all of them, and it’s this massive light, and I see how very close I am to this portal to the realm of Adam Qadmon. I see the vast spaces of unbounded possibility, and both Binah and Chokmah, in this vast emptiness of potentiality which cannot be, are ineffective in that Binah cannot receive, and Chokmah cannot project.
I’m told to try my best to have as much compassion as I can for all of it, equally, and I do, and I do, and I do: it just magnifies, and once again I try to speed the flow to the point where there’s this hum reached, and there is. I feel my entire body just lifted or raised up, and it’s this beautiful hum to my subtle body, and I feel energy coming up once again now off of the book (Amzes Naghezes Hardeh, Leaf 20a), more off of the table, and finally off the seal again.
God is saying, “Behold, Blumaza [king of the lunar sephira of Yesod], and with Mars in Cancer [in its fall], and the moon in its fall [in Scorpio]: it is opposing where it is normally in its exaltation, and thus they are receiving each other. So, though they are themselves in a weakened condition, they themselves are nonetheless raising each other up. So this lunar and sublunar sphere can be in a better condition to receive the light, to receive the light of this lunation, and thereby work it into the grand unfolding of All That Is. Thus now you are able to receive the light, such as you are able to receive it.
“Yea, have compassion for those that are in your path! Have compassion for those who are in pain, and have compassion for those who are confused, and have compassion for all that Could Have Been, for the reality in which you are taught by the one whom you must now teach! Have compassion across space and time, and across all of the possibilities that were foreclosed as a result. Just continue to have this Grand Compassion, o Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth, for this is your destiny! This is the unleashing of the Venusian nature within you, much as your sun was released and rectified yesterday in its fullness, so you must know now that today marks the beginning of the unleashing of this PRONOA, of this compassion, for yea, although your capacity to love has been very confused, it has been very difficult: it has [nonetheless] received help along the way, and now receives the Highest of all Help, the Help of the Almighty God Himself, Herself: the Almighty Divine as you have come to know It.”
I just try really hard to focus on this, and to do as I have been bidden, and it’s like I’m now encased in this spherical rainbow jewel, and it’s beautiful, this vibration and hum. The angels are saying, “Yea, it is difficult to unfold completely, this completely spherical consciousness in which all the light is there [as a bright white light], and yet, you have only known What You Have Been Alive to Know, and What You Have Been Around to Experience. Yet the Divine Has Known all of these things In Equal Measure, and so continue to hold this in equal measure, and at times your rainbow will seem like unto a beautiful white sphere. At other times, it will seem like unto the process of putting the black sphere in its proper measure. But at all times, hold, as bet you can, when meeting another, this transparent sphere, knowing them as they are to be known, and allowing them to be as they are, and allowing, to some degree, the suffering which they are choosing for themselves. For in so doing, they can come to know the fullness of God on their own terms, and thus the Law of the Parts will be upheld as well as the Law of the Whole.”
I feel God now within me, and He is reaching into my torso, into my anahata chakra, yes, even the heart of my heart, and He gives it the subtlest of touches and caresses, and it opens so much up in me, and I feel so much, and I’m so grateful unto the Most High for this. He is saying, “Your heart is being prepared. Look you to the elements and approach them with this same transparent heart.”
I say, “O God, please give me the strength and the fortitude and the sensitivity and all that which is needed to do so,” and He says, “This I will give you, and more, and I will give you, indeed, confidence to do so.”
And I ask, “O God, my God, is there anything else?” And he says, “No, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: go now in peace. Know now that this journey is already a fait accompli.”
Thus ends the vision.
Sunset: Call to LIL. Call to King Blumaza. Due to delays and feeling upset, I neglected the call to the governors, and to the Zodiacal Kings.
The angels bid me to lean back and relax. They acknowledge the emotional content of a day like this. They praise my work at compassion, and say that it is multidimensional work. I grieve into my heart of hearts, and recall how the Divine blessed me by touching this heart. I remain so grateful. I allow myself to feel the emotional pain, and it’s okay.
I see a hand come towards me, and it takes me by the hand and leads me to the center of the white sphere. It’s the hand of Christ, and we sit on rugs and drink tea at the center of this sphere. He shows me His hands and feet, He shows me the scarring about His scalp, and the wound in His side. He notes that my hands are together (in the prayer position, holding Leaf 20 between them), and my feet apart (so as to be touching the sides of the table). In a sense, He notes, that a cylinder could go through my hands at this point. He notes that, in general, my placement of my hands with each other, and my feet apart, is an inversion of the placement of Christ’s own placement. Peter was crucified this way.
He says that I have doubted, and have returned. I have denied, and I have returned, because I have come to accept the pain. He reverts my astral body back into the usual crucifixion pose as a symbol of accepting me. He says that at the center of this cross is the heart: the heart of the heart of the heart of the heart of the heart. He then bids me to repeat the call, this time repeating LIL seven times as had previously been advised of me, “And we will resume.”
I repeat the call to the Aethyr and this time remember to call the Zodical Kings and Governors of the Aethyrs, except I substitute “LIL DE LIL DE LIL DE LIL DE LIL DE LIL DE LIL” (“LIL of LIL of LIL of LIL of LIL of LIL of LIL”) for just “LIL.” Note: this would seem to presuppose that each Aethyr can be thought of as able to be subdivided into Aethyrs within Aethyrs. I have used this technique before and found that you can get into quite rarefied Aire (heh) by doing so.
I’m directly within the sphere again, this time seeing all of these screens of possibilities again, but this time all of these possibilities are whirling about me, as is the space in between, a massive rotation. I’m having compassion even for the forces which are causing this rotation, and this seems to click something into place! And behold, I see again, and I see again, and I see again: I see this massive rotation, and we are approaching this realm of Adam Qadmon, and I’m told that tonight, I will be right at the event horizon, and I will cross right into it tomorrow.
There’s this massive energy, this beautiful light, and it seems to completely encompass this sphere, which now seems more like an egg of a shuttle-pod, surrounded by intense energy and light, and all of the possibilities on the screen, actualized and foreclosed, are increased in intensity, and I continue to hold this compassion for all of them, as I can. I try to turn my compassion up to Infinite: and this is the key word, “infinite”: MAOFFAS MONONS (measureless heart): MAOFFAS MONONS! MAOFFAS MONONS! MAOFFAS MONONS! Measureless heart! Measureless heart! Measureless heart! And this heart is just encompassing all of this, and I see now about me all of this grand beauty, all of this grand heart which is just trying to pour out to all possibility, and to all of this Infinitude.
It is unlike anything that I would have possibly conceived, and I’m trying to stay at both the Center and About Everything, and it is almost too much for my heart to take! And I know that God knows my limits, so I continue (and I nearly weep now) and continue with this Measureless Heart for all of these Possibilities, and just this Potential Itself, that I’m trying to have this Measureless Heart for, this Infinite Heart, as best I can!!
And I’m trying, trying to reflect the Whole [of existence] within me, as best I can, because I know that this is the best as I can be purified as to try to maintain this emotional state, this Vastness of Compassion! “Let it be Infinite! Please, o God, let it be Infinite!” And He says, “Aye, indeed, but you yourself are human and have limits, but indeed, it is the spark of Me within you that chooses to cry out in such ways, and so I will give you as measureless a heart as your system is capable of.” My emotions still run quite high and I continue with this vast feeling of compassion towards all I see, and it is this tragedy that I, as a human being, and yea, even the Divine, have our Limits.
But even working within these Limits, there is so much to be done. There is so much good to be had, and so much Compassion to be had, and so much Peace to be modeled and distributed, offered in pure generosity and compassion for All. I’m feeling this beautiful energy now, coming up off of the leaf, up through my hands and arms and into my torso: and it is God in His Mercy Who is changing me and my entire subtle body now, all the way down through my feet. I especially feel energy coming up from the seal of King Blumaza, and I’m feeling it all about me now, all about this table. And I see the same elongated octahedron arising out of the Sigillum Dei Aemeth. I see the top half encompassed by a sphere, and now the bottom half also, with a filled circle at the middle, as follows:
The spheres represent heaven (future state, and the upper part of the lotus-rose bloom) and terra/earth (present state and the lower thorny stem of the lotus-rose). It is all new to me. All of it in its beauty must be accepted for what it is. These two spheres thus look like unto the symbol for infinity, and a twisted ouroboros, but about many dimensions. I know them to be of many dimensions, but they are represented in 3D here.
The middle ring on the plane perpendicular to the meeting point of these spheres is the Ain Sof Aur of the realm of Adam Qadmon, shooting into the link between heaven and earth. It is Wonderful. I’m told that it is this filled circle in this plane, where these two spheres meet, is what I will circumambulate over the next 19 days.
I ask whether God, in His Mercy, has more to show me, and he says “No.” I thank Him, and the vision ends.
Note: Only now, after all of this time, do I realize the final piece I did not realize before. Gebofal is 49 days long, and there are 49 leaves of Loagaeth. It is not only 7*7, the squaring of the septenary nature of Enochian as a whole, but it is also the sum of the 30 (degrees per astrological sign) and 19. Nineteen relates to manifestation, but also 12 (signs of the zodiac) + 7 (planets), and is also the rounded square root of 360, which is why it is the degree of exaltation of the sun. Once again, the exaltation scheme of Enochian is borne out.
Gebofal, Day 27
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of PAZ. Call to King Baligon.
I relax and concentrate on the lotus-rose. The angels note that this is an incremental step as I approach the event horizon of the portal to the world of Adam Qadmon, which appears to me as a black hole.
Continuing to concentrate on the lotus-rose, the angels show it becoming circular, like an ouroboros, spinning around. “This is how the the flower emerged from your heart, is it not?” the angels ask. I agree, in the sense that the stem of flower emerged from the blossom of the preceding flower, repeatedly. The angels say that there will be this circulation within the lotus-rose itself. There will be suffering leading to transcendence, which will lead to suffering and then further transcendence.
Yet the suffering itself, they’re saying, is something that can be relatively avoided in the mundane realm just by continuously giving yourself “oomph” to follow rules and behave appropriately such that suffering can be transcended (such as seen in the symbolism of the white cube). I note difficulty concentrating, but the angels remind me to simply focus on this lotus-rose of my heart, and the distraction will go away.
I see this lotus-rose now being like unto a torus, simplifying now into a jewel about the lotus-rose (note the parallel to the famous Buddhist mantra, Om Mani Padme Hum). The angels say that once you get this, that it’s all sort of “one thing…you’ve been making this distinction between the thorny stem and the blossom. But it is One Thing: it is a Beautiful, sometimes Wonderful, sometimes Heart-Aching sort of thing, and the Heart Aching indicates the Heart, and that It is Alive.” So the Heart Aching as such is–and here I recall the death of my late mother-in-law–the Heart Aching is…and I’m trying to come to terms with something really big here.
“The Heart Aching,” the angels are saying, “is the Condition of the Heart. Though the armor about it is Empty, this pain is normal, this pain is okay. And the condition of Reality leading up to the heart being like This, is okay. And all of this can be concentrated into this Divine Bloom of the flower itself, the Okayness of It All, the Divinity of It All, and the Transcendent Nature that allows it to happen such as This. All of it is okay, all of it can be concentrated.”
So even though it seems as if “the Jewel is in the Heart of the Lotus,” truly, the jewel itself is the lotus, is what the angels are saying, and it’s part of Understanding the depth of Adam Qadmon, which is a journey you shall take and fulfill and complete. That is the Beauty of the Journey. So that’s it: the angels note that I’m a little bit closer in my orbit to the portal; this Realm is a little big closer. All of this is the sphere [spherical consciousness], the angels are just keeping me a little bit off, keeping me at bay. They really want everything to attune, so this is something that I need to reflect on. I thank the angels, and they have nothing further.
Thus ends the vision.
Noon: Similar procedure. I called on King Baligon twice.
I concentrate on the lotus-rose as an Ouroboros, as well as a jewel, as described in the previous Aethyr. I steady myself.
I see two square pyramids, connected by a tube, and all of them appear to be be made out of dough; the tube is already tied into a knot. “Consider the force which ties this knot. This is the force of Ain, and the duality, you’ve seen this already, when you scried your own rainbow body using the call of the Aethyrs.” This knot, they say, can be considered like unto sphericity (of LIL), or the double-sphere arising out of the torus.
“Yet, there’s something nice and squishy about this, isn’t there? So that only if you were rather skilled could you even see that this was caused by a single force which created the illusion of duality, then united it, and then unfolded it throughout separate sephiroth.” So I’m wondering about the nature of these two pyramid-like, or tetrahedron-like (and here they tell me that they are tetrahedra). Here we have, once again, an ogdoad (two tetrahedra times four faces per tetrahedron), becoming an ennead (via the connecting tube), which perhaps could be considered a decad (due to the new shape created by the knot). So you have this reflection of the ten sephiroth, even in the world of Adam Qadmon.
I’m curious as to what this means. If everything is squishy, there’s an infinity with this. I try hard to understand this deeply. I let my heart work on this problem. The angels say, “Note that what you’re seeing as an ouroboros: this is the same kind of thing. It’s a symbol of continuity, much like a Möbius strip, or a Klein bottle (which may be a better explanation). It’s this twisting about itself. The reason you’re seeing it as seemingly separate forces is because you’ve already seen it as such (when I scried my rainbow body previously, I saw two jewels which mirrored each other), but also,” and here they bid me pause for a moment, “Think about this. This is three dimensions about three dimensions, coming upon itself. This is like unto the present state/earth on the left, the goal state/heaven on the right, and the transformation in the middle, so time is locked in as well. But it’s all one thing.
“It’s all one thing, and it’s a multiplicity of things.” And I feel like I’m very close to grokking this and they chuckle, “not just yet, but this is very important. This is a very potent symbol for you, because you’re very excited by this, and you want to know what it is, and that’s okay. That’s good.”
I take a look at the symbol, and I see it extending down, and now it seems like a bunch of pencils tied together with a rubber band in the middle, the other end of which is dangling from the ceiling. This point at which the rubber band meets the ceiling is the portal into the world of Adam Qadmon. “If you just take this heart of compassion and aim it directly at this symbol, you’ll see that this is the same thing. On the one hand if you twist it together, it’s the jewel, on the other hand if you were to take it apart, you could see one end being like unto the thorny end of the lotus-rose, and the other end like unto the bloom thereof. It’s all the same thing: all is one, all is one, all is one.”
The angels leave me with all of this to contemplate. I ask whether there’s anything else, and the angels bid me pause and to consider this dough-symbol floating in water–not dissolving, just floating.
The vision ends.
Sunset: Similar procedure.
I’m feeling fairly high right now. The angels tell me to relax and to speed up the entire process going from the previous symbolism to the lotus-rose to the jewel. I feel the gem now in its fullness; at first it seems to have an amber or reddish-orange tinge, but now I see green flashing in it, and the angels suggest that I add indigo and blues, and I see now: the jewel is a rainbow jewel. The angels remind me that the lights can come from the realm of Adam Qadmon in their fullness, but that they can be seen in Chokmah, and indeed, this is the final Aethyr of this sephirah. At its most developed they shine through to me now, they say. One need not have completely entered the realm of Adam Qadmon to see them this way, but having an opening into it is important in order to shine in your fullness (suggestive of a complete opening into Chokmah and a necessary step to develop the rainbow body).
Now I’m feeling a lot of energy coming off of the leaf, and it’s trying to tell me something, so I listen. I feel my crown chakra being pulled upward, an uncharacteristically strong energetic feeling for this Aethyr. It’s like this is the initiation, the re-initiation into Kether (the angels remind me that a prior sigil of mine with the intent of “I reinitiate into Kether” was, in fact, still active). The angels say, “Be prepared, be ready, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth! This be the final vision of Chokmah unto you. Know this: that the different elements and the different spacings [of (space-time) points], that one may find as one abideth in the realm of Adam Qadmon: these can always shift and change! It is important to be fully immersed in the Understanding in order to be fully immersed in the Wisdom.
“Behold, this vision (from noon, of the dough shape), which you have seen in its tetrahedral format: this steeping of it in the water can be considered like unto the fullness of Ain and Ain Soph. For within the Ain is the Ain Soph, and that fullness containeth within it the Infinite Light, which you see before you, twisted into this shape, twisted into this Present-Future state, which is always, always, always bound both by time, but, indeed, by the supernals as a whole. And so, know this, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: the richness of this symbol will continue to unfold itself to you. For now, it seemeth like dough: tomorrow it shall not seem quite so. It shall take on a greater significance and a new symbolic meaning. Rest now easy, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth! No more can be said unto you directly, but all of these things shall be open unto you in the very few weeks left remaining.
“Much love upon thee: go now in peace. Serve the Lord.”
With this, the vision ends.
Gebofal, Day 24
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of DEO (dee-oh). Call to King Babalel via Stenwick’s method.
The angels have me relax. I see a swirling. The angels have me recall the spiral within the pyramid which ultimately compressed into the symbol of the lotus-rose. The lotus-rose, they say, has its own type of magnetization, and to hold this very dear to the heart. I do so, and this creates the perception of the line to the “black hole” portal of the world of Adam Qadmon. The portal seems even bigger to me now.
I ask the governors and kings about this portal. “Look, you are making this leap,” they chuckle, “it’s not like you can help it.” I can feel the realm of Adam Qadmon pulling at my heart now, like it’s literally magnetized toward it. I feel this force pulling me towards it. “It’s not to be done right now,” the angels advise, “so continue to feel the force and honor it.”
The angels wish to show me this stellation which I recall from the previous Aethyr, and as it relates to Binah and to Chokmah. The angels explicitly lay it out for me: the stellation can be considered like unto the force of Chokmah. This force, in my case or view: I’ve always been fairly literal about Chokmah. The angels say, “Look, if you’re looking for Kaos, the deity, in it, the truth of the matter is that you are highly ordered. Kaos is not, at least in the way that you consider it. In terms of it trying to be this expression of this projective [formerly “masculine”] principle, note that this is different from the willful principle of Mars,” which the angels themselves separate out from Geburah. All of these things need to be distinguished from each other.
“But this projective principle, this cosmic principle,” they’re saying, as they redirect me to focus on this principle in spite of my heart being pulled toward the world of Adam Qadmon. The angels show me a point, which, by definition means that its existence is in distinction to all other points. It still demands its “day in court,” its “due,” as it were. That’s it, and all of it. That point demands its distinction among all other things, and all points in space does this, hence there’s this force of Kaos.
The angels now say, “Let’s look at how this relates to stellation. The force of a collection of points, or a system (such as an individual) itself: it orders itself and demands its ‘day in court,’ therefore a central point is somewhat able to organize all other points about it.” It’s able to create an organization about itself, the angels clarify, so that we don’t spend too much time about dominance and subservience, though there is a bit of that in this schema by necessity. But the entire system is agreeing to it, so it’s not horrific to consider.
Of course, Binah, throughout time, is very accepting of this situation, but is Sorrowful for the suffering which can occur which is a natural outgrowth of the loss of realization of one’s own Divinity. My heart feels pulled again towards the world of AQ, and the angels chuckle, and say, “OK, so consider this now, as one approaches that world: by definition, any individual point at the very least requires or causes all of these other points to become equidistant from itself [as the point reacquires spherical consciousness]. Instead of a monarch with the dukes, duchesses, and lower classes such as counts, the monarch in this case develops sphericity these classes (and indeed the center and area of the sphere become interchangeable), and equally so, because of the infinite light, because all light is infinite.
I ask how this relates to colors. The angels reply, “Various colors, various formations of the heart, that particular point of the heart. Consider the colors and the emotions of the heart. All of these are natural outgrowths, because the point or the system of points, though it requires its ‘day in court,’ nonetheless, if it is approaching this Kether point [sphericity of consciousness]–approaching itself, even (this is why the sun and Tiphareth are in the Middle Pillar)–as the heart approaches another being or situation, the heart itself in the fullness of its situation attempts to grok another being or situation or point. As it does so, it naturally has this reaction to this other being, for it sees flashes of this other being’s infinity. The same emotions that it sees, it begins to reflect in itself, and vice versa. It emits its own feeling and it becomes reflected back.
The angels say that I can remain magnetized to the world of Adam Qadmon, this is natural, especially as I approach the halfway point of his ritual. The angels say that the energy raised will be like unto Zeno’s paradoxes, but in my case the energy produced will double for every half (and half of the half, and half of the half of the half) of the ritual to remain(!!).
I express my gratitude, and the vision ends.
Noon: Similar procedure. Mild panic attack in the morning, clonazepam to treat.
I relax. I see different elements of geometry. As I do so, I hold onto the symbol of the lotus-rose, hold on to the geometry of the square pyramid/octahedron; I see the image of it extend backward fractally, and forward fractally, covering all of the different bases along a line, which is the line to approach the world of Adam Qadmon. I try very hard to stay in the moment, and again open up to the angels. They are holding this lotus-rose and bend it.
I decide to read the call to the Aethyr again, just to ensure a clear and unambiguous transmission. The angels say that this was necessary, because they had something bigger to show me, and energetically I wasn’t quite in the right spot (note: sometimes even an experienced practitioner will need to make the same call twice). I see and feel a twisting motion, as if you rotated your shoulders clockwise and then counterclockwise. I sense that this is doing something to my subtle body system.
I hold on to the lotus rose and see the angels again–it’s like they’re stroking the tops of the petals of the bloom, and this indicates that this vision is approaching towards the inner part of LIL, the inner sanctum of of the lotus-rose bloom. The angels show me that this twisting rose motion (and here I see a roller coaster ride): this is all of the points, they say, seeking their day in court, their day of reckoning and appropriate judgment, which in this metaphor means deciding what something is, and being judged in the sense that there’s understanding of what a point is and the uniqueness of that thing. Babalon can accept all over time, but the Wisdom is the inner Knowing of something that allows one to project out into their (unique) ways on account of knowing their own very nature, and knowing it fully. Also, this extends in a very extraordinary sense, to knowing it in relation to all other things.
It’s by this that we get principles which for the most part work, but there are always exceptions because, although whole knows any unique point perfectly, other points in the system do not. Hence, individual Chokmah laws break down. I see each of these individual points about the line, which due to other entities are really curves like on a rollercoaster track (i.e., about the many consciousnesses, spherical and cubical, which these lines navigate). There’s a sense of needing to twist, which allows a new configuration of all of the points of the path that one is in, but also a new configuration of the points of consciousness that individuals move to spherically integrate into one’s system.
Just looking at this unfold along this track, it’s like I wait for the vision to pop open; I see a featherlike object cross another one, and it’s like someone who has been holding these swiftly makes extending motions with their arms all is part of a Y formation. The configuration of all of the points which contain these two different feathers becomes reconfigured, and thereby allows for a better and more intelligent and heart-focused unfolding across all of the points involved. (Typing this up, I think this is about individuals contextualizing different laws from different spiritual systems and how well they feel they apply to their own lives).
In order for Space and Time to operate appropriately together, there thus needs to be this appropriate meeting.
I try to see what else may be here. I’m not seeing it right now. I feel a bit of a shift to my muladhara chakra (likely healing to my root chakra). Other than that, it’s like this is being integrated a little bit. I ask the angels whether they in their mercy may have anything else for me. They say, “Let’s leave this here for now; there is time enough to go through the remainder of this Aethyr and the remaining Aethyrs. Go ahead and rest up, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth: we will speak with you more shortly.”
The vision ends.
Sunset: Similar procedure.
I hold on to the lotus-rose and now it seems that I’m riding a dragon; much like holding on to a large lotus-rose would, its scales cut me. I am bleeding.
I get off the dragon and alight upon a square, which is the base of the square pyramid, which I’m also seeing as part of the sphere as in previous visions. They’re showing me this pyramid rising up more steeply, and it’s part of the stellation. The angels are trying to relate the two things together: the pain of interacting with another being (geometrically, multiple systems of points causing degradation of these systems), but also the pain of being true to oneself: these two ideas are combined in this vision.
The blood relates to Spirit elementally; the angels are saying that this is a preview of looking ahead to Days 31-48, after the Aethyr of LIL, to the Watchtowers, as I get into elemental work. The first and second spoken Enochian calls or keys (the 2nd & 3rd, technically), which I prayed for guidance on: for the second spoken key relates to calling in of entities into this form of Spirit.
The angels explicitly say that it’s important to relate how Spirit and the elements relate to Chokmah and Binah. This is a little difficult for me to see on account of the geometry of the Aethyrs being quite enticing on their own. Nonetheless, the angels note that in making the distinction between two points, and all of which goes into causing two points to be distinguished in a variety of manners, the four elements map on to the Standard Model of Physics as follows:
- Gravity maps on to elemental earth (“I fall down, for I am of the earth,” said Enoch in the prayer related by the angel Ave).
- Strong force maps on to elemental water.
- Weak force, related to beta decay, maps on to elemental air.
- Electromagnetism maps on to elemental fire.
Blood as a metaphor for spirit combines these things to a degree. It most closely resembles water, yet takes broken down fruits of the earth and distributes them via fiery like pumping action of the heart and also redistributes air. As water causes the parts of the nucleus to settle down into itself, it causes the points of the nucleus to be difficult to distinguish, weak force causes the points of the atom to be more readily distinguished, the force of electromagnetism causes the flourishing of manifest light in all its varieties, but also the grosser movements, and affects the paths of the points, and the unfolding thereof, and finally gravity causes all points to remain on this curved, yet otherwise even, playing field (note: I think this relates specifically to the surface of a planet).
I feel some energy come up from the seal of King Babalel: he’s trying to say that the planetary difference here is a distinction between Will as a chemical separation of Mars. The angels add that the astrological movement of the planets, fixed though they may be and nearly impossible to change, they themselves are arising out of this elemental mix. So although an emanative model of Kabbalah tends to have a one-way direction from the world to Atziluth to Briah to Yetzirah (which, as I took away from Modern Magick, can be thought of where the elements form before reaching the world of Assiah), there’s a co-arising of the planets out of the action of the elements, going up and down each of the worlds.
The vision ends.
Gebofal, Day 23
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of ZID. Call to King Blumaza; Governors Zamfres, Todnaon, and Pristac; and Zodiacal Kings Gebabal, Olpaged, and Zarzilg.
I have compassion towards all I see. Now I see a white door; the door bends back into a spherical form, as a reminder of what needs to be done in terms of compassion towards suffering. I see the psychedelically colored sphere of fixed stars, and now I see it turn into an eyeball (which I’ve seen many times in these post-ZIP Aethyrs), which is reminiscent or often one of hundreds upon the Whale of God.
God is saying directly to me now: “This will become an increasingly purified vision of the spheres of Binah, Chokmah, and of Kether, and ultimately of the spheres of Adam Qadmon. Listen very closely now, my Son.” And I see a 3D stellation, a preview of the future Aethyrs (or a review of them, as I’ve been through the Aethyrs before). It’s like God is showing me this, and (my speech becomes rapid now) I’m within this eye, this psychedelic eye. And this stellated sphere is like unto the force of Chokmah, and it’s causing all of these different colors to appear (within the eye), and yet it is also reflecting them, but as one gets closer and closer in their approach to Kether, to LIL, then the stellation becomes even more so and more spherical, and ultimately rounded and more and more like unto the perfection of Kether itself. And these Two become One: yea, the Mind and Heart of God become as one.
The energy of this sphere is much higher than I recall it being, requiring much more concentration! I am compressing in all subsequent Aethyrs (except LIL) here. I see a cylinder rotating across the edge of a disc at an angle, scraping as it goes. These are the two forces again, Binah and Chokmah, and yet their interaction in this way is a reflection of Kether itself, which itself is all it can be on account of the world of Adam Qadmon. I see the motion of Chokmah; it becomes like unto a torus (note that a cylinder can be curved into a torus). It rotates into itself, becoming spherical. The disc itself also becomes a torus, and both of them rotate about themselves in this manner, becoming a double-joined sphere unto itself.
I’m having compassion for my ignorance and confusion, and I allow the fullness of this rainbow body to appear. The Divine seizes upon this and says, “All of this motion is the rainbow body. All of this vision is the rainbow body. Everything like unto what you have ever seen is like unto the rainbow body. This force, something that must become accepted within all of you, throughout, throughout your entire being: know this, that, yea, even the struggles that you’re feeling right now continue to be a mark of PRONOA of the Divine upon you. And so, continue your best, continue this effort, continue to work through everything so that you may know this PRONOA in its fullness. For, yea, one who knows this PRONOA in its absolute fullness need do nothing else, for one liveth continuously in the Love of the Divine.”
I ask the angels whether they have anything else. They say, “No, the Divine Himself has spoken to you! We dare not say anything in addition to this.”
With that, the vision ends.
Noon: Similar procedure. I began recording before having called on the zodiacal kings and governors, but that has been addressed.
I crank up the compassion as much as I can for everything about me, including the grand principles from the previous vision. Once again I see this stellated star, and I ask the angels, “Please, what have you all to show me?” and the star seems to come toward me, and then float away, but then towards me again, and away again.
I see this stellation revolving about what appears to be a black hole. The message is that this is the portal into the realm of Adam Qadmon, and that there is unbounded light within. “Think of a black hole, how there is infinite [i.e., measureless/maoffas] light within it: for indeed, none can escape.” I find this very interesting, and it really touches my heart in this interesting way. This is a resolution between the force of Ain (and indeed, black holes have much force to them!), and yet, at the same time, there is infinite light within it (for all intents and purposes). If one were to enter a black hole, one would experience “infinity,” so to speak.
I think about what it would be like to enter this, and I see myself stretching out like spaghetti. However, there is some part of my heart that really wants to be guided by this experience of entering the black hole. This is “beyond the beyond” in this way. I decide to try to generate compassion. “How can one circulate the infinite?” is the question that comes to me. “How can one circulate the infinite,” the question repeats.
“How can one circulate the infinite?”
I have no words for this. “Indeed there are no words, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth.” “How can one circulate the infinite,” I repeat the question. “The Infinite already is, and therefore, it need not be circulated. Indeed, one only needs to be magnetized to it.” This seems simpler to my mind and to my heart, and I simply allow such magnetism to be.
And that seems to be the answer. Instead of doing, one simply allows itself to be as it is. There’s this long, infinite line which emerges from this reflection, and it tends to want to wrap itself into a circle, but indeed, it is infinite! And it is only bound within this circular frame, but if one were to enter it [as it is], then one would become like this line of spaghetti that Stephen Hawking talked about.
This is very wonderful! This is the portal into the realm of Adam Qadmon; it’s showing up and looming larger with each advance along this path. I express my gratitude. It’s as if everything is indescribable.
“And that is enough,” the angels say. Here ends the vision.
Sunset: Similar procedure.
The pace is picking up, and this is a highly metaphorical vision. Between the last session and this, I note that the colors of a rainbow as a whole must exist as measureless light which is unseen due to the gravity of a black hole, and of course this should have a parallel in the infinite light in the world of Adam Qadmon. The angels encourage me, saying, “Yes! Now consider how this dynamic of light, of stellation (of later Aethyrs), and ultimately of sphericity (of LIL) should continue like this, within this black hole.” Specifically: “Consider the clouds”–of flashing colors of LIL, within which hovered a silver sphere–“and how these represent this amorphous, difficult-to-grasp, intangible, this ‘how-can-I-even-get-here’ light from a black hole! Because one can’t actually go in there,”–here the angels return Adam Qadmon–“because it’s infinite, and one would lose oneself [as merging with a cloud]: one would dissipate.
“Yet one wouldn’t actually dissipate! This is the Infinite Source: this is the source of All Things. This is the reflection which the sphericity must bind itself in, in order to Know Itself most deeply!”
I’m trying to remain magnetized to the line to the portal to Adam Qadmon, and compassionate. The angels remind, “This lotus-rose symbol will be a servant to you.” I ask the angels in particular how might this wonderful world of Adam Qadmon also be compressed into this symbol, and recall aloud how the angels are represented by the bee upon the portal to the world of Adam Qadmon, which is within the blossom of the flower.
The angels say, “Is not the very magic the finding of the space which allows All Things To Happen?” The angels refer to the stamen and pistil of a flower, which allows for reproduction to occur, and all of this happens due to a good amount of space and its correct configuration, for this perfect unfolding to occur. If one were to compress the Vast Infinitude of the world of Adam Qadmon within this symbol: it is of the nature of the flower to reproduce itself, and to be constructed such that all of that can happen. Here the angels dwell on King Bynepor of the Heptarchy who, being associated with the expansive and reproductive powers of Jupiter, is also hailed as first among the equals of the Heptarchical kings.
Here I see a line moving through this space of the flower, but it seems to curve. The infinitude of the world of Adam Qadmon strikes my consciousness–and here I once again try to remain in accord with the straight line toward the world of AQ, and the angels exhort me: “Just stay magnetized to the straight line, don’t try to force it! If you are magnetized toward it, then the entire path that you follow in life is essentially curved. It is only curving about the many spheres of individual consciousnesses that you travel through.
“You are traveling about the spheres that other individual beings find themselves in. They may consider those spheres to actually be Black Iron Prisons, or they may consider them to be like unto the rules of correct living [e.g., a white cube] in order to be a good person, or just trying their best to do the right thing, trying to ‘paint the outside white.’
“Yet the point of all of this is that the straight line whereby all of us actually walk–if you were to place this about the Great Sphere of All Consciousness, then we are all actually merely following a straight line [i.e., the shortest distance between two points on a sphere]. If we just magnetized ourselves to the overall straight line [of the world of Adam Qadmon], suddenly, every single thing that happens in our life is to be detached from, or to be experienced but not suffered, or to be suffered but to be suffered gladly, because there is no resistance to the path that one is already on.” By this, in so doing, in fully surrendering to this line, I’m being shown rainbows from earlier today, and I’m being shown that in fully surrendering to this line, the natural self is always being bowed to, and so one truly is an Ipsissimus.
The angels say that this is enough; there’s more that could be delved into, but this is for the higher Aethyrs. The angels note just how much I’m compressing across vast chunks of Aethyrs right now; the angels are gaining speed, as it were, and all of this consciousness is dilating and expanding at the same time, “so everything that you need to wrestle with as a human being is presented to you and there are patterns and your mind is able to do skip-logic out to a later lesson, and it must be dealt with as it thus naturally arises.”
Thus ends the vision.
Gebofal, Day 20
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of ICH (twice due to a lack of concentration the first time). Call to King BALIGON after Stenwick’s method. Once again, though I may have not made it clear from recent visions, I am generating compassion, and sitting astrally upon a throne. I align all seven chakras concentrically, and the legs of the throne are an exact cube. I also call on the seven angels of today (3 zodiacal kings, 3 governors, and the heptarchical king), in rounds of seven (I’ve been doing seven rounds more or less from the beginning).
The angels open a zipper, and I see an eye from the separation of fabric. It’s a catlike or Sauron-like eye, and I’m drawn/pushed/pulled towards it. I enter the iris. About me is red. I concentrate and show compassion. The red pours into a figure in front of me, and it’s the Flash, an evil version of him (as opposed to all the other speedster villains, let alone his complete Rogues gallery!). This version runs around me, and I’m just having compassion for all of this showing up in this very dispersive way.
I pause to call on the angels; doing so two more times in addition to the seven times I called on them earlier seems to do the trick. This seems to have taken me to the opposite side of the eye, the retina, and they open it like a door. White light pours in, and I’m bidden to walk forward, which I do.
Now I’m at a halfway point, and I see (in the white light in front of me) computer code characters like from The Matrix. In front of me, it’s flowing upward (exalted knowledge), where as behind me it descends into this black wave or goo (the angels confirm that this is Choronzon). It’s like where I am it’s literally looking like a “mouth of the Abyss.” There’s this big cresting black of information, looking like a “heavy” (tall, surfer-worthy) wave, sort of held in this position as from a force-field, and I’m in the spot where it would normally be about to crest and knock me over. On the other side is light and well-ordered information. And all of this is being exchanged in an orderly manner, basically on account of the latter. This is the maximal height of the infernal realms, I’m told–but no further. The green bits of code themselves, and not the infernal portions, get sucked into the white part.
I have compassion for all of this. It’s very wild. I stay enthroned, and the angels remind me of the checklist: enthroned, compassionate towards all I see, all possibilities that were or could have been, and to continue to do this across all of time. At this point, it’s probably to try to condense all of this into this lotus-rose symbol. It will seem like unto mud at bottom, if you hold it there, and like pain if you hold it at the stem, and the blossom will always be attached there.
But now the angels are telling me to progressively move inward from the sepal to the petals and finally to the very center of the bloom. I see a bee emerge from the flower. It reminds me of my first trip through the Aethyrs, but even the bee within the flower could sting me, but only if treated badly.
I’m taken now, by a caped superhuman character (I’ve been watching Invincible on TV lately). It’s like I’m being tested, so he punches me several dozen times quickly, but this is more like additional subtle body therapy on the being’s part. I maintain concentration, and offer the hero a lotus-rose, and he disappears. The angels disappear, and it’s like my subtle body had simply absorbed the energy of the punches and sustained no trauma.
Noon: Similar procedure.
I see a smile, and it’s Venus flytrap smile, and it approaches me and swallows me. The overall shape of the mouth which swallows me is spherical (note: see previous visions on the black sphere) but I’m swallowed into a white space, not into a belly.
The angels suggest I begin fusing previous symbols. The cube of the throne is simplified into its 8 corners, which are now the thorns on the rose. The concentric spheres which were my chakras can now be the petals of the lotus-rose. I hold the flower by its sepals, and a few of the sepals seem to unfold like inviting fingers; I decide to put one finger out and it curls around my finger like an infant finger does.
Yet for the rest of my hand I continue to hold the flower about the stem, but ask the angels whether I ought to hold it in a higher location. The flower itself sways about the stem like Baby Groot. There’s something about the bee in the center of the blossom, now. It comes to sting me below the right eye (again such an eye would see good, whereas the left would see evil). The bee takes its hat off (yes, it’s wearing a hat), and flies back to the blossom.
The gold-and-black remind me of Tiphareth and Da’at, respectively, with the latter being associated with “crossing the Abyss.” Thus this could represent the path of Gimel between Tiphareth and Kether, which includes Da’at. Nonetheless I’m also reminded of how they transport and sometimes eat pollen and collect nectar. Finally, I recall from a previous vision that the angels likened themselves unto bees of the Divine’s projects, often leaving structures for humanity to use.
I continue to process the many qualities and activities of bees. In this context, bees gather from the heart. Now, the angels say, is a unified symbol which can be used to integrate this into an entire angelic system. This is how things ought to go, they say. The angel is at the center, at the apex. The remaining symbols can be fused as follows. The square pyramid (by extension, the regular octahedron) is like unto the stem (because it is a dual polyhedra with the cube), and is the difficult work it takes to create this sort of awareness out of suffering. The lotus is like the symbol atop the pyramid (recall we saw this as a sphere earlier), the spiral about the earth is like the lily of the lotus, again in a roughly teardrop shape. All of this works fractally, up from the “world” of an individual person to the entire planet or even universe. At this last level, the bee merely sits upon this apex of the collective heart of all, resting within this glory, which is the heart of the Divine.
This apex shows an opening all the way across the Abyss into a very narrow window into the world of Adam Qadmon. I can see directly across the Abyss, and there’s this portal or wormhole awaiting for me at the very end, and as I get to LIL, I can see, all will be much more apparent. It dawns on me to scry a sevenfold LIL (“Madriax dspraf LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL”: “O you heavens which dwell in LIL of LIL of … of LIL”) at the very end, and the angels say yes, but to save that for the evening, which will lead to me saying the name of the heaven seven times in all. Audible! I express my gratitude.
I see a hawk about the wormhole and the bee is trying to fuse with it. It reminds me of Aiwass and Heru-Ra-Ha. I’m trying to see more about it, and I’m trying to concentrate into this point to see more. It will be grokked, the angels inform me. The only way to see into it is to cross the Abyss, so I’ll save that for tomorrow and Sunday.
The vision ends.
Sunset: Similar procedure. As with last night, I have to repeat the call twice due to poor concentration.
I’ve noticed a distinct group effect to this ritual in my social circle, so I do my best to hold them in spirit as I focus on the lotus-rose during this part of the ritual. Energy is coming up off of the leaf and the seal. There’s a strong emotion to continue to hold on and complete this task due to this group effect arising in me, and I know that tomorrow will be the climax of that, and I’m tempted to look ahead to Sunday when this part of the ordeal will be over, but I see Babalon smiling at how I have no idea what I’m in for on Sunday.
The energy of my arms is quite noticeable, a rising energy, and now it seems to flow from my torso into these arms and into the hands and finally is raised in a vertical plane of energy into the heavens. I see quick visions of what I’ve seen before: I pass through the eye of Sauron, past the wave of black goo full of green Matrix computer code, and fully into the whiteness, or at least the first two are behind me. Here, this whiteness, is the Abyss. It’s white because of how tightly I’m holding onto the heart, and I’m being given a lot of support to do so, and express my gratitude.
Now a welling-up of emotion towards those who I’ve had raw emotions about today: friends, acquaintances, and now even people from long ago. I force myself to hold them in my focus and the pain I’ve caused them through so much Will (now I remind myself that my experience of the nature of dukkha won’t be like this all the time). I want so much, because I am intensely aware now of all of the energy of the sum total of any and all bad behavior I’ve ever done, because it’s condensed into this moment, yet it’s combined with all of the people who are harmed by all of the harm done by Anyone, Ever and at the same time, it is this vast cosmic energy, and I see myself as a Cosmic Unity of Raw Pain of Sentience, like me in the position of Batman holding Jason Todd, but instead it’s me like an Alex Grey painting, and I’m in full cosmic color holding a limp, departed soul and looking upward, Pain on my Face. Yet I’m still holding this same compassion and trying to hard to relax, though my heart chakra and mind race at 100 miles a minute through the agony of It All–
OK. This is it, and it’s okay. It’s okay, and it’s perfect as it is, and any other project notions of perfection that you may have: the act of thinking them is itself perfect.
Now I feel some energy on my two shoulder blades, and there’s like some miniature psychic surgery going on to my heart chakra. Now I see something like unto a squid but beholding it now, I see that it is like a jellyfish, but actually is, an eyelid forming full 360-degree circle of eyelashes, with no eye. I don’t know what to say, and perhaps there’s nothing to say to such. The skin makes a bubble and it uses its eyelashes to make a circle on the whiteness and then enters it, and upon its eyelashes, the skin making an elegant half-sphere.
There’s a real opportunity here for Grace. This is the intelligence and perhaps what can be considered the heart of the Abyss, and I hold compassion for it. I see a drip into a sphere of water, like slow-motion. The angels say that I need to be able to grok this. “Reach in and grok this without disturbing it.” The sense I get is ignorance, which means “without knowledge” but specifically without gnosis, a spiritual, illuminated knowledge of one’s own Divinity, which is the kind of knowledge that should immediately trigger Understanding of Binah. The issue here–and here I get something of a warning look from an older man with an inner head-strap set (such as you would see on older astronauts) and glowing blue, laser-vision eyes–and here several words come to me: violence, turning-over, schism, splitting–none of these are right. I recall the origin of Chokmah as an input-output necessity created by any neuron, the first time I scried ICH a couple of years ago. The original input must by necessity be transformed.
Now, at the universal level, what the angels are talking about is the transformation of reality from one moment to the next. If you reduce the universe down to a series of space-time stamps, one instant to the next, and these to be like 3D versions of frames of a film and put them in order, then from one moment to the next, Da’at is like the sum total of all of the rules which causes the spacetime transformation. It is an absolute, with no regard for whether one is a human being or an atom of hydrogen on Jupiter or a photon being absorbed in that instant by a neutron in a neutron star. It’s an absolute enforcement of all of the rules enabling this transformation. Note that here we have both time and space, suggestive of Binah and Chokmah, but stripped of awareness or sight of its own Divinity: such a tragedy! I reflect for a moment on the Tree of Life about how it could go from Geburah to Chokmah.
This is why it’s so difficult to get into the higher sephiroth such as Binah: if you want to Understand why a Divine principle works, it must be absolute and to your core, whether you Like it or not, or what you may have Expected it to Be or not, or like something you were Taught in School or not. As far as the Meaning of this is concerned: this may be sum total of the rules, but getting into the Why the Rules of why things are like this in the first place is when the individual is stepping into the Supernal rule. Because Da’at offers no reason for them here.
Now the Leaf is almost done, so I return to the circular eyelid. I love it and I accept it for what it is, and with that, it passes outside of its circle, and I walk into, through, and past its circle, and through a door, symbolic of my encountering the Abyss itself tomorrow. I’m seeing how certain things want to be revealed and understood at each Aethyr and am respecting this. I ask the angels, the zodiacal kings and governors, and King Baligon, whether they have anything else. They give me the lotus-rose to me, and it scratches my face, and I’m holding it with half of my fingers on the inside of the sepals and being held by them, the other half still holding it from the outer parts of the sepals.
The vision ends.
Gebofal, Day 19
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of LOE (“Low E”). Call to King Bynepor.
The angels unfold the same fan from previous visions, and show a spiral within it, the same symbol as yesterday. They’re not adding to it yet, they say. I try not to be overly distracted. I pour out lovingkindness. Now the fan is 3D, and the angels say to extend the fan out in all seven dimensions that I’ve seen thus far, which I do, and they suggest an 8th and a 9th (the Ogdoad, the Ennead, and the Decad). Getting through to the other side, they say, is getting beyond these seven dimensions and into the eighth through tenth via Binah, Chokmah, and Kether, respectively. The eleventh, they say, is the world of Adam Qadmon, writ large.
The angels say that to shoot for the world of Adam Qadmon is great, and they’re trying to develop a means, a subtle body with a realization that can do this. The angels say not to define this by the negative: right now my mind needs to concentrate a lot in order to step past the abyssal nature of much of what I’m seeing, but this will be beyond that and transcend it. I maintain this poise, but I see the same cross from a previous scrying session in ZIP, extending out a bit. In that vision, I saw a cross like unto the 3D Cartesian axes, light blue in color and with electric kinds of hairs emerging from it. Now it’s extended out like unto the elongated rhombus, pale yellow or beige in color, with more lightning-like electricity rather than simply hairs:
The angels suggest that I incorporate this into the symbol from yesterday’s vision, which is proving to be a little difficult for me at this point. This increasingly complex nature that gets revealed after the Abyss is not lost on me (unfortunately I’m unsure whether I’ll be able to do my best work here, but let me see):
The angels are really going for it here. They say that the elaboration here is important in one degree, but in another way it is not. Someone can grok this via following the steps to realization. It’s sort of embedded in the earth, but sort of coming off of it; the four arms come down to create the sectioning such as with orbs held by monarchs:
I see the colors in a pastel yellow or a beige, and the angels say that this is because it’s the empowered Ain Sof Aur. All of this, the lightning, is shown without the means of manifestation, it’s a more raw representation. The angels remind me to try to see this as not just Ain Sof Aur, but also Ain (emptiness or the empty mind, which is unbounded) and Ain Sof. I try to see this with the heart of compassion, and BANG! it’s like I’m sucked up into it! It reminds me of the effect of the Tardis floating around in Doctor Who (I don’t watch the show, don’t email me about this).
This itself proves to be a distraction, which I compassionately push past. The angels take me up into this Adam Qadmon realm. I comment about the importance of concentration and compassion as I’m taken up. The angels end the vision somewhat abruptly, saying that this is the limits of the Aethyr that I’m in, and that these limitations will all go away when I get to the final day of gebofal. I feel very much changed by this, which is of interest since this is still technically a pre-abyssal aethyr, but I may be biased on account of having already traversed the aethyrs before.
Noon: Similar procedure.
Right away, I’m pulled up, and I maintain compassion throughout. I see a skirt (in a safe-for-work sense), of a woman, kind of a casual 50’s style, and she’s twirling and being treated very well. The skirt is dark, and has some reddish upon it, and is like blood vessels going into a tissue. This is fractal, and these vessels all seem to originate from a heart. Again, this imagery of the heart, and I’m told this heart feels like a heart that is dancing, full of joy and wonder, ensconced in a being who is dancing.
This is Babalon, this is Binah, the angels tell me, and She is dancing and joyous, and She is treated like a Lady, as an equal being, as an entity worthy of love and affection and adoration, which of course She is. I’m having compassion for everything about me, Her included, the entire room and the context She is in. She extends her hand to me, and this is the Courtship of today, tomorrow, and Saturday, until Sunday in which She may be revealed. This, I’m told, is why King Bobogel was said, because he is of the sun, and in some ways the counterpart to her, he is said to hold all dear.
We begin dancing. It’s the sort of ballroom dancing you would expect in a casual environment. There are people around me who are clapping, and I extend love in all directions. Now there’s this gigantic, beautiful axe which comes down through the room and splits it and us into halves, and we all return again to our form and split apart again. I’m having love for even the axe and this splitting.
This is Ain, this is the force of Ain, and I see this as a beautiful vibration. I begin twirling up, (I emphatically declare as I see): “AS IF I AM HER, BUT I AM ALSO ME, AND WE/I, WE/I BEGIN TO ASCEND, AND SHE KISSES THIS FORM AND LIFTS ME UP AND BIDS ME FAREWELL, IN THE FULLNESS OF HER LOVE, AND I AM LIKE UNTO A SPIRAL AS I ASCEND IN THIS MANNER, AND I SEE STARS ABOUT ME.
“I SEE COLORS FROM THIS FORM, AND I SEE MYSELF SPINNING, YEA, SPINNING, AS I ASCEND FARTHER AND FARTHER, AND I HAVE REACHED THE PATH OF THE FIXED STARS, AS I APPROACH THEM, LIKE UNTO A ROCKET, LIKE UNTO THE SPINNING OF A GORGEOUS ROCKET, LIKE UNTO THE MOTION OF A METEORITE-IN-REVERSE, ASCENDING INTO THE HEAVENS, BOUND BY THE FORCE OF MY OWN MAGNETISM, LIKE UNTO THE CONSTANT CORKSCREW MOTION OF A PHOTON, AS I MYSELF APPROACH THE FIXED STARS, WHICH HAVE THEMSELVES, UNTO ME, SHONE THEIR LIGHT IN MY DIRECTION. SO I, TOO, APPROACH THE FIXED STARS IN THIS MANNER, AND IT IS UNLIKE ANYTHING I HAVE BEHELD BEFORE, AND YEA! EVEN MORE SHALL BE OPENED UNTO ME!
“YEA, THIS CRACKING WIDE OPEN SHALL CONTINUE UNTO THEE, SON OF MAN, SON OF GOD, SON OF EARTH, AS THOU HAST TAKEN THY FULLNESS OF THE DRAUGHT THAT WAS AVAILABLE UNTO ME IN BOLDNESS: YEA, AUDACITY! BUT IT IS LIKE UNTO THEE! AND IT IS PLEASING UNTO THE LORD TO HAVE MADE THEE LIKE THIS! AND SO THOU SHALT TAKE THE FULLNESS OF THY DRAUGHT, AND THOU SHALT KNOW THE FULLNESS OF THIS WILL, THE POWER OF THE WATERS, YEA, AND THE POWER OF THE FIRES CONTAINED THERIN! AND THOU SHALT CONTINUE ABOUT THIS PATH. AND YEAH, IN FULLNESS, SHALT THOU BECOME ALL OF THE FIXED STARS THEMSELVES, AND YEA, SHALT THOU BECOME ALL WITHIN ALL, FOR GOD HATH APPOINTED THEE TO THIS.”
The vision ends, and I am out of breath.
Sunset: Similar procedure. Note: I was extra energized this evening, as my restored health, and the knock-on effects of the prior vision, intoxicated me a bit.
I feel as though I am breathing in the room I am physically sitting in, and it seems to bend towards me during the inhalation and away as I exhale. There’s a biological feel to the vision. I see a V, which is the outline two lungs. I’m within Binah right now. She asks me to contemplate the Temperance card for a moment. Unfortunately for a bit I get sidelined, as the Strength card comes to mind; this reflects my chart but is an error. I have the presence of mind to confirm the Strength card and when I do, Binah‘s word, “Temperance,” rings in my ear again (dispersion is an error in these Aethyrs–always check your understanding, kids!). So I make all the correct associations with the Strength card, but after the correction, I do the same task for Temperance. This is an excellent symbol for the HGA, as the classical elements are clearly balanced here, and the exalted solar suggestion of a rising sun (note that the sun is still in its sign of exaltation). I note two lily flowers in the background and take them to be signs of enlightenment.
I pause to take in two long breaths, an 8-8-16 and a 9-9-18. During this interlude, I have visions of cartoonish characters, homeless, who melt like wax figures into rainbow puddles. It’s vaguely disturbing.
The symbolism of how the preceding relates to the following is left as an exercise to the reader:
I try to stay poised and true to the compassion of the heart again. Now I see Babalon in a Shakti-like form, many-armed, but now I correct myself and think she may be Kali, but now she seems more like Lilith, and she seems to take on a serpentine form and she multiplies, encircling me. I express compassion towards the rules causing Her to appear before me in this manner. This reminds me of my asking people about alienation on Twitter recently, and how Lilith was this figure, especially when in the social astrological houses. I continue to have compassion for the rules bringing me here and her here together like this. There’s this strange friction, and I see incredible light being achieved as a result. It looks like photographs of vast galaxies.
I call on the angels for help with interpretation. The angels point out that it’s like the galaxy existing in the way it is right now is coming up against all of the possibilities that could not come into existence. There’s this massive tension between all the possibilities such as they aren’t (all the possibilities that could have been available to us now), and all the possibilities such as have been actualized to this point. And it’s like these possibilities are yelling at me now: “Have compassion throughout! Have compassion for all of these things! Have compassion in your heart for all the possibilities that are not, and all the possibilities that are! Have compassion across all of these!” There’s this very angry feeling, and I’m trying my best, and focusing past the immediate tension to the root cause of all of this, and the root cause of the compassion that I want to have. And this is what I really want to unfold–right now!
And why isn’t it happening?!
And there’s this raw rage emerging, and now something is trying to escape out of my heart, and I don’t know what this is, and it’s trying very hard! And I’m seeing a bunch of armor, and there seem to be two characters, male and female, fighting against each other. The tension continues to rise as I plead with them: “This is real! This is OK! And you are real, too, for wanting it to not be so! And it’s OK!” And…and…it’s like something is trying to be borne from my heart, and … and… it’s like a lily, and a different flower shooting up from the center of the blossom of the previous one, and the last one is…is…it’s not quite a lotus, it’s a…what is this? It’s a lotus-rose fusion, which has these thorns in it. I declare, “It springs from mud, and is painful to touch, and yet it is beautiful and necessary to be held in this way, and if it is understood in this manner, then in such a manner will all be at rest, who hold it.”
And the angels hold me, and ask me to come to terms with this, such as it is. And they know this will take a while. It is awe-inspiring, and it has sprung from my heart. And I’ve been holding my heart, and if my heart gives birth to this, then it is good, and I will hold it. So I feel it scratch my face, and I hold it like an infant, and it scratches my face as it does so, and the scent it gives off is so sweet.
And I feel very blessed. “Nothing more today.” The vision ends.
Gebofal, Day 18
Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of ZIM. Call to King BNASPOL, ZIM governors Gecaond, Laparin, & Docepax, and zodiacal kings Lavavoth, Olpaged, and Alpudus.
I note that I continue my approach toward the Abyssal point; I ignore such parts of the vision, except to project compassion towards them. I place myself in the astral throne, with understanding that to project compassion and lovingkindness towards some, there must be understanding.
The angels align my chakras as into a unit of seven concentric spheres. This moves along the gold-shimmering path towards the Center of the Heart of the Divine; it occurs to me to have my heart express compassion towards every part of this vision, and this seems to quickly move me quite a way down this path. The angels say that this is very good; the idea here is that I am interacting with the rules of my own journey in a direct way, which is to say this expression or heart-projection of compassion towards them and towards the path.
I maintain this evenness. I note that I understand why the angels have instructed me to remain in this throne; it’s very easy to get lost and ungrounded in this kind of work. But if you maintain this poise, it’s very key to this process. One of the governors, Gecaond, is showing me a rock, and says to me, “Grok the rock.” I mention that it’s likely made up of a mix of elements and molecules; I hesitate and say that I’m not an expert. He says, “Yes, but what is the rock?” I mention that it has several uses, and it has a long history from the beginning of time. I begin speaking about it in the rules and context in which I find it, and he says, “That’s the key. None of that other stuff really matters, unless you see how it came to be here, what purpose it’s having by its very presence. Remember this,” he says, as I continue my scrying and spiritual path. Take things as they are and in their current context, and what the context may have meant across various moments. He removes the scene with the rock.
Now the angels want to twist me inside out and to refold my energy body. So they pull at my heart chakra and eventually fold me into a pyramid, with the tip replaced by a sphere, which is the heart chakra itself, floating just above it. The angels say that that this is what it will be like (presumably the rainbow body). The angels also mention the cube of the bottom of the throne on which I sit, and to consider what happens if one combines the dual polyhedra of the cube and octohedron. Suppose someone believed held that material reality in the form of the cube was against oneself, as in the Black Iron Prison, then combining it with its natural counterpart, the octahedron, may allow someone to rise out of the trap of this sort of thinking by offering additional points of perspective.
I express my gratitude. The vision ends.
Noon: Similar procedure.
The angels note that I am in the throne astrally and that I continue to generate compassion towards anything which comes across my attention, including my attention of my throned astral body on itself. This causes it to return to itself. Note: this is a very high level of simultaneous attention. Having had a meditation practice and a good working memory is very helpful to me at this stage.
I’m seeing a cube, but it’s difficult; I wonder for a moment whether this is dispersion of the Abyss. Concentrating upon it, I realize that, no, such is not the case. It’s not a cube per se, but rather the bottom and back parts of a cube (see diagram below for an approximation).
It’s like the angels are trying to close these three sides into a single 3D figure, but they cannot (note that four sides is the minimum number of sides for a 3D solid). I am confused, and generate compassion towards this confusion. I am about to move on but the vision changes, and I see this as a Hexagon now. The hexagon contains within itself the shape of the cube, they advise (in the sense of a 2D projection). This has to do with Metatron’s cube, they say.
When I concentrate on this figure, it’s as though it should come straight to the center, but it does not. The angels comment that trying to get to the exact center does not work and that one needs to approximate the center of this hexagon by fractals by (note: typing this up and giving it thought, the assumption here is a slight misalignment with the center and an irregular hexagon–drawing a diagonal across the cube in all three dimensions would not work in such a case; with Metatron’s cube, there would be no need for what follows). The angels then show a series of successive approximations towards such a center with smaller and smaller hexagons which are centered about the previous hexagon’s center in the first step, and then the upper or lower tip of that smaller hexagon in the next step. All in all, the point is that one could use this if one knew the circumference of the circumscribed circle of such. Saturn (the seventh planet), I’m told, represents the principle of going from a larger hexagon toward a smaller in order to reach the center. The angels add that this principle could be expanded out into a larger view as well, towards a large circumference, and they note the septenary nature of such a process.
My heart opens a bit now. There’s a bit of a distraction again, but I simply concentrate past it again, with compassion and lovingkindness. I’m forced to put in some additional effort, but I note that we’re approaching ZAX on Saturday, so tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday are the three remaining days before we arrive at ZIP and thereby cross the Abyss. Now I take matters a step further and collectively place all of the distractions together in front of me as a group, which I regard as “contextualized” or “understood” suffering (i.e., dukkha), and focus on them with compassion. This seems to help.
Now I ask the angelic governors and kings for assistance; the angels note that four kings are called on any given day, and they give me homework to match up the zodiacal kings who are called on any given day, and to match that up with the Heptarchical king of any given day of the week. This is clearly an indication of the strength of the individual planets as suggested by their respective strengths: King Baligon is explicitly associated with Venus and the Air (“whatsoever can be wrought in aerial actions”; one of the signs which Venus rules is Libra, an air sign, a projective (I prefer this term to the older term of “masculine”) of the diurnal sect). King Babalel is associated with Mars and Water (“Mighty and Wonderful in Waters, Whose power is in the bowels of the Waters”; Scorpio, a water sign, is ruled by Mars; this sign is of the nocturnal sect and is receptive (a term I prefer to “feminine”). King Bnaspol is associated with Mercury and Earth (“To whom the Earth with her bowels, and secrets what so ever are delivered”; Mercury both rules and is exalted in Virgo, which is a receptive sign and of the nocturnal sect).
The only missing element here is fire; both the sun (Leo) and Jupiter (Sagittarius) rule fire signs, which by definition are projective. Still, Leo is more fiery (with its only sign of domicile being a fire sign, and its sign of exaltation also being this), it is difficult. Still, this isn’t unambiguous. While the Bobogel gives “Wisdom and Science, True Philosophy, and True Understanding of all Learning, grounded upon Wisdom,” etc., this strikes me as so close to the Divine (and the sun being the “king” of the planets), that reducing it to an element of fire may be a mistake. I suspect that doing this research that the angels have assigned (which, they advise, may be best delayed until after gebofal), will make clear which planetary/sephirothic king would be the one whose power most relates to the classical element of fire.
I see six rays emerging from a central point, as well as a dotted line of a seventh. I generate compassion towards this ray, and it becomes an unbroken ray. When I concentrate on this, it’s as though a folding fan emerges and in a circular manner unfolds into the psychedelic space from a previous vision. The angels mention that this image of a fan is important; the angels say that I specifically request the crowned rainbow body. The angels say that this is “wise, insofar as you know what you’re asking for.” They then note that the level of compassion required for this may be too much to constantly have, so it’s okay to “zip up” this awareness and instead move according to my usual mundane manners. In other words, there’s not this burden to constantly be aware all of the time, like unto The Fool in the Tarot (which I had a vision of, not when I was scrying, I think, but last night during hypnagogia).
Now I’m told by the angels how to discuss my experience with the Aethyrs with a friend–I plan to do so!
Finally, the angels note that there’s this progress that can always be made by returning to the folding fan: “For what is a fan if not something to be seen, admired for the beauty upon it and as it is displayed in performance art, for the relief one feels when it gives relieving air to the skin?”
I get a bit of energy off the leaf 32a. The angels seem to be holding me in a vibratory sense: their subtle body surgery is now a lot more, well, subtle.
The vision ends.
Sunset: Similar procedure. I take three 7-7-14 breaths to steady my mind.
The angels show me a cylinder as a nice conceptual combination of aspects of a sphere and a cube. I am curious for a moment about combining a sphere and an octahedron. It’s a bit like methane (note: this has been observed to not be perfectly tetrahedral). I pour my heart into the vision into the lack of clarity, turn the ring around so that it touches the leaf, and vibrate the governors’ names.
The angels say that the zodiacal king assignment which I completed was good, and I ask whether there was anything I missed, or whether there was one of the Enochian Heptarchical kings who is indeed associated with fire. Fire, they say, is like when you’re leveling up, so King Bynepor is the one I should probably be looking at. King Bnapsen (suggested by Saturn, often seen with a scythe to suggest reaping) completes the old cycle and allows for the new one to happen, but King Bynepor is regeneration and renewal, and they remind me of the alchemical backronym “Igne Natura Renovatur Integra” (“by fire, nature renews itself”). It also makes sense that water would be the other attribution of Jupiter, because water is also needed to begin the regeneration process.
Returning to the cylinder, the angels note that the ring is itself a symbol of the circle and square (and has upon it a symbol of a straight line and circle). They note that the finger upon the hand that wears the ring is generally cylindrical, and the arms of the hand, and indeed the body typically has all four cylindrical limbs and a cylindrical head-and-neck upon a roughly cylindrical torso: fractal cylinders. I pour myself into this idea: going from the door (with its lines and right angles) into the expanse of outer space (generally a 360 degree experience) also combines these ideas, as does the fan.
The angels bring this idea back to the symbol. “Now it’s time to think about how to do this with the symbol in its current formation and how to put it all together. Instead of a pyramid with this symbol at top, instead consider a way to put this spiral in three dimensions (as a hyperbola rotated about an axis), encased within this pyramid. After the spiral reaches the base of the pyramid here on Earth, it begins a rotation about the earth, creating a falling teardrop effect (note: this is roughly a metaphorical inversion of the drippings of the Abyss, and during the vision I note the difficulty in maintaining concentration to see this).
I see a moderately sized wasp’s nest now, which is reminds me of the shape of a pine cone. Several wasp-like insects fly to it, and there seems to honey exuding from it. There’s honey emerging from it, and the honey seems like a teardrop upon a teardrop, and it is so sweet to humanity, it’s like exactly what humanity needs right now. I see this, and (amidst several distractions–which hold back by increasing my compassion) there’s a beautiful big light (Ain Sof Aur), seeming to originate from where the nest/cone is attached. The light encompasses me, and I seem to elevate. This whole process seems to crack me open so as to show me the benefits of these higher pre-Abyssal Aethyrs. As you approach the Abyss, there’s still much to be had, it just requires a lot of concentration.
I see letters; they arrange to form “Bobogel,” … “Bobogel Omnia Tucare Est.” I don’t know what that means, but now looking up the (questionable?) Latin on Google Translate: “Bobogel omnia tu care est”: “Bobogel, all is dear to you.” (If you know Latin and know a better translation, please reach out). I see letters again. This time they are in English: “A…All shall be revealed to you in time. Go in peace and serve the Lord.” Behind this, and lit up in bright light, is a future version of myself, very much at peace and compassionate towards where I am right now. Apparently, this is where I needed it!
I’m very happy about all of this. I make plans to complete the symbol. The angels close the vision.