Podcast Appearance: Praxis Behind the Obscure, Ep. 41

I was delighted to be a guest for a third time on Praxis Behind the Obscure: check it out!

Subtle Body Integration Technique

Note: This technique references Day 49 of my gebofal ritual as well as phantom limb and body transfer phenomena.

Update: I just posted a video describing this.

During meditation this morning, a new technique occurred to me, which I will now introduce, first by way of describing the phenomenon in relation to my experience of the last day of my gebofal ritual. On that day, I had the experience of being an isomorphic being throughout all time and space, including the present moment. Perhaps due to the nature of this experience, it occurred to me that one’s subtle body could be considered from the perspective of phantom limbs as well as body transfer, which is to say one could perceive something missing (due to trauma) or that one’s subtle body extends beyond current perceptions (indeed, I’m sure some would argue that the concept of an energy body extending beyond the physical is itself an example of the body transfer phenomenon).

I realized and made a mental note that this actually could be quite useful for personal growth and coming into the fullness of oneself. The accompanying technique is simple. During meditation, consider the possibility that you might have another part of you from which you have been dissociated–and here I give a strong note that this includes parts of yourself that you have yet to develop into due to temporal dissociation! Re-integrating this may be tricky and certainly is a process (one reason why I follow Israel Regardie’s advice of adding psychological treatment when engaging with spirituality).

Begin to integrate this part by first finding some point in your subtle body which seems to match this feeling that some part of you should be there, as if either something will grow from there someday, or that something should be there that is not. It doesn’t really matter whether or not you are 100% accurate in the placement of this on your subtle body, though feel free to ask for assistance from any guides you have for a proper location. Imagine that you begin to feel this spot on your subtle/energy body. If you begin to feel anxiety or even pain from this, allow yourself to feel it and relax any muscles on the corresponding part (or general area) of your physical body, and do any of numerous anti-anxiety techniques such as pranayama. Allow for the integration of this part of yourself into your current awareness (note that there is a degree of learning to accept time displacement here–you are integrating something perceived to be either the past or the future into the present). Once you are comfortable with this being integrated, slowly explore the feeling of it now being integrated. Repeat this process as much as you feel necessary in order to feel whole; I would especially note that you may wish to incorporate more and more imagination.

Good luck!

Bridging Enochian & Buddhism, Part 1

I’ve posted earlier that I believe Enochian can be used in conjunction, or perhaps even as a bridge to, Buddhism. This is a tricky idea that I’m not entirely ready to elaborate on yet, but I wanted to post about some of the visionary work I did in hypnagogia tonight.

The background is a health concern that isn’t yet over, as well as wondering about the spiritual progress I’ve made since finishing my first Excel version of Liber Loagaeth (note: I’ve also been exploring Buddhist mantras to Vajrakilaya, Padmasambhava, Yeshe Tsogyal, Mandarava, Amitabha, and Vairocana). As I was thinking about this, I tried to explore the culmination of gebofal, Day 49. I induced the energetic memory of that day, recalling the isomorphic divinity I felt with the universe.

It occurred to me that this isomorphic divinity must overlap with that of the aforementioned Buddhas (and yidam) must be included in this, and so I picked up on Padmasambhava’s energy and noted a line of sight which he was looking at. I noted that Yeshe Tsogyal was looking there, too, as were the others. I tried to use their gaze to see the common point, then saw a brilliant light and approached it. Interestingly, as soon as I began doing so, an interesting jeweled being, somewhat mechanical in look with four golden arms resembling a spider’s legs and a beautiful golden oval thorax with a gem taking up more than half its size in the middle, emerged from this light. It wasn’t hostile, yet at the same time, it seemed to be blocking me.

I did a gentle twist in midair and evaded the being, and went into this light. It was soft, and I was reminded of an admonishment I’d read online very recently from a Tibetan Buddhist teacher about avoiding the soft light and instead trying to find the dazzling light. Doing so, I passed through into a space in which all of reality seemed to buzz in and out of infinite heartspace. This, it seemed, was the clear light mind—not merely data emerging from an infinite possibility, but an infinite multiplex cord of all hearts, humming.

Here was the view of all of reality, seething and reckoning with its many possibilities, in anguish. Here the heart had to reckon with itself in its infinite varieties, and it was too much to be clear, and so it hurt.

I saw myself open my own heart to it all, an infinite gesture of compassion, and I found the view toward it all that I’d been aching for.

And now there are lifetimes more to express it.

Using Energy in Spiritual Development

One of the boons I’ve been blessed with after working the gebofal(-like) ritual is an energetic awareness of what I’m calling “Day 49” energy. Essentially I perceive this as a “vertical” energy which links me with my holographic identity, extending to and including the part of myself which is divine. In particular, it’s an awareness of the link or concentricity of my own heart with the Divine Heart of the cosmos, and this produces the vertical energy feeling.

Of late, I’ve been trying to induce this energy (I can’t really explain it better than that) and combine it with the clear mind of Buddhism, which I tend to perceive as more horizontal (and have experienced glimpses of during meditation). I try to keep this combination going as I go through my day (if I can) in the midst of whatever else is going on. Needless to say, there’s a lot of concentration involved in this. I consider this to be advanced energy work.

Earlier in my magical days, I would try to combine my knowledge of the astral with the subtle body sensations in order to produce magical effects. This could involve imagining an outcome (better to go for the spirit than the form of the outcome, I’ve learned!) and imagining a swirl or vortex of energy feeding into the vision, which in turn enhanced the vision. Note that this could very well be inducing or a felt sense of energy–or pretending to feel it–rather than an actual imaging (this is an alternative for people who have aphantasia). Another possibility is using a similar imaginal or sensorial technique for the here and now, with such energy moving into your subtle body and chakras. For novices, this would be a good way to begin exploring such chakras (my recommendation is to start at the root and work your way up, and to try not to overload them). From there you can work up to strengthening connections between them and slowly working through blockages. This is not to be done on its own, but in concert with psychotherapy or counseling by a licensed psychologist.

Use your creativity here to consider other ways to use energy. This could include creating light-bridges to helpful entities (perhaps by creating the bridge and vibrating a statement of intent, “This bridges my awareness only to those entities who help me”). As always, don’t use this to influence others without their permission (I’ve even grown leery of healing techniques). Because you’re dealing with, well, energy, be aware that this may “overenergize” you, so consider also cultivating and working with energy which you find activates your parasympathetic nervous system. This would include any energy which you find assists with, for example, self-hypnosis. And as always, when you are done with whatever energy source you’re working with, mentally close it out and/or ground it.

Good luck!

Podcast Appearance: Praxis Behind the Obscure!

I’m very pleased to announce that I’ve had another podcast appearance with Ryan Villa on Praxis Behind the Obscure, Episode 19 (a fitting number)! We talk about Enochian, angels, gebofal, Buddhism, and so much more, and of course we had a great time: check it out here!

Last Day of Gebofal: Day 49

Sunrise: As with all of the other days, recited Ave’s recounted version of the Prayer of Enoch for all three scryings. Vibrating the god names “L,” “IAD,” and “NA.” Vibrated the second half of Call/Key 1, which I take to be the contents of Leaf 1b; practitioners often leave this first call unspoken, and do not include it in their enumeration. I do not know of anyone else who has recited this leaf as a call (or, indeed, of anyone who has recited the leaf, other than Edward Kelley during the original transmission of its contents).

I’m feeling somewhat disembodied, or perhaps a better phrase for it is “feeling disembodied in addition to feeling embodied.” I’m told to sit, for this will be a big one. I’m instructed to put my feet upon the top tablet only, that of “L,” (my design, not part of the source documents of the Dee/Kelley transmission). It’s an Enochian-language transmission! Mercifully, it’s given in English letters; it comes slowly at times as I concentrate (this is written as close to the original spelling as I remember):

“Rustafa noh a fantox, gembles son taho
Uxnal uridah eadah ur laxnop uxnal cay
norsalp. Iaida ur ton damploz uxamal geh.
Tucamax iehusoz nucablix a ton pah saga
mano.” [I see a DNA strand] “Aqlo monons i monons de Iaida.”

“Oecrimi! Oecrimi! Oecrimi!”

Partial translation:
Son is similar to “sonf,” which means “to reign.”
Ta means “as.”
Ux means 42.
Ur is the spelling of the Enochian letter “L,” which itself means “One” and “The first.”
Ton damploz means “all variety.”
Iehusoz means “His [God’s] mercies.”
A ton means “with all.”
Pah is translated by the AOM as “the Ogdoad.” I have previously relied on this dictionary, but because I have not seen this in Leitch’s dictionary (I hold Leitch to be the authority), nor in the Dee/Kelley transmission, I am uncertain about AOM translations.
Saga is similar to Sagacor, which means “in one number.” The AOM translates this as “Entire” or “Whole.”
Mano is translated by the AOM as “soul of humanity.”
The final phrase means, “Your heart is the heart of the Highest,” and oecrimi means “sing praises.”

I feel energy coming up off of Leaf 1b, up into my arms, up into this jaw and head, and finally down throughout the rest of the body and into the ground itself. I feel a bit like a tree, and a torus within the tree, and I feel the poloidal rotation of the torus.

The vision ends.

Noon: Similar procedure, except I vibrate the first half of Call/Key 1, which I take to be the contents of Leaf 1a; practitioners often leave this first call unspoken, and do not include it in their enumeration.

My voice is sore from what I time to be 49 minutes of vibration (this morning was 36 minutes–note the 36/49 parallels to Soyga and Loagaeth). I may just read the words aloud tonight.

The noon scrying begins with another Enochian transmission:

“Rustafax NA jonqual iehusoz a lansh palphe
to[h] a arcoazior adgmach od satqual…”

And now the desire is to continue in English: “Unto you, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth.”

It’s like I’m being taken up by a bright beam into a massive dark circle in the sky. Now I’m encompassing the whole world, and now the entire cosmos. I am one with all, and I’m having this full experience of God, and all of the pain and joy that He feels, and all of it is happening at once. He says, “It’s just this giant tingling”: that’s the best he can liken it to for me.

I feel His Divinity and Omnipresence. I’m feeling His Heart, and it’s so beautiful. It’s a Divine Heart, the Divine of Divine Hearts, and I’m feeling it more completely than I have before. It encompasses me and this entire work and state of being that I am and all of the actions that I’ve done. It’s just this giant Heart, and it feels good and it feels very much Right.

I’m filled with compassion and lovingkindness toward all beings, all things, and all rules of all beings and things, and the entire state of all possibilities that could have been, and never were. It’s like I have to hold all of this all of the Time. This is what it’s like to be the Divine. He says, “It’s too much for a single human being to do all the time, is it not?” I say, “It is indeed, o Lord.” He admires my continued effort towards it, and sets me back down within my body.

“This be enough,” God says. “Rest, rest your voice, and tonight we will finish and My Blessing will be upon you.”

Thus ends the vision.

Sunset: The entirety of Call/Leaf 1, starting with Leaf 1a (reversing the order I read them at sunrise and noon: “the first shall be last”).

I’m already feeling a big energy about my crown chakra, and I feel myself being lifted out of my body; I’m asked to bilocate (maintain awareness of both the physical and astral bodies) so I do. Once again I am lifted into a black circle above the earth, and once again, it wraps about the globe and out coming into the entire cosmos, and I feel this love, love, love, of the Most High to all of humanity.

“Yea, ‘PRONOA’ be the final word” of the Enochian-language transmission that he wished to send to me (making it a 7×7 grid, excluding Oecrimi). I feel myself just filling, filling, filling with this PRONOA. Every single fiber of my being, every single part of my subtle body is filling up with this PRONOA. I’m just feeling this love, and He’s saying, “Just allow Me to work on every level,” so I relax my physical body. Once again, my vision is of the entire globe, the entire cosmos again (reflecting me on the cosmic level), is filling up with this PRONOA, with this PRONOA. Once again, this is my part, He says: this my part within All.

This is me within all; this is me, as it were, quantumly entangled with all of reality, or rather, that “Without Which, Not” (“sine qua non“). God says, “Yea”: this is the Part of me that is Everything, this is the Holographic Identity. Yea, it is the Truth of the Reality of Me, and so He is filling me with this Love, this Awareness, this Awareness of Myself, of this Cosmic Being, this Cosmic Entity, One with All. This is the height, this is the summit. The Lord High says, “This is the Measure of All, for yea, you understand now,” and I say I do.

I find myself wrapped up in this Love, just forever pumped into this love, and occasionally out, but always returning (the Tao is returning). I find my heart chakra opening way up, and once again my crown, and once again third eye. All three of these are interacting in this vast transrational space, of which I’m barely able to communicate the Power. It is now coming, once again, through my entire body, and I am Understanding this Clear Mind. I find my mind being calmed, yea, “A AFFA MANIN,” He says, winking, reciting back the phrase of one of my prayers.

I feel myself unlocking and unlocking, and He is showing me the means to the rainbow body. It is this: to focus on each chakra, starting at the root (and working one’s way up one at a time), as if it were the heart. At the heart chakra proper, conceive of it as the heart of hearts, and at the crown, the heart of all. After showing me the means, I try my best to feel this; I can’t see anything occurring in the physical room, but at the heart level, it definitely seems true, so it will be my focus during meditation. Furthermore, I am to try to look with my third eye through the heart as if it were a telescope, at the crown chakra. “This be too much for most, except for those with the most open of hearts” to communicate, so “let this be the Blessing of the Lord God upon thee, the granting of this request, which you have indeed suffered and sacrificed for, and have chosen of your own free will.” He speaks a few words more.

Thus ends the vision. Gebofal proper is done, but I will continue to recite the Ave-recounted Prayer of Enoch three times a day for the next three days.

Gebofal, Day 48

Sunrise: Call/Key (spoken) 2, (as the first spoken call (the true first call “not to be spoken”), most practitioners refer to this as call 1). Vibrated the Enochian names of God “L,” “IAD,” and “NA.” I neglected to vibrate the title of Leaf 2b (or, as was temporarily my case, not to be), which I rectified mid-vision. Oh well: come to grips with your humanity really early on if you do Enochian, people.

I feel this gathering about my crown chakra. I’m feeling some energy coming up from the leaf, and the Holy Table of Practice, and eventually coming up from the three Tablets of Union, mainly the four-lettered version (“EHNB”).

I’m bidden to relax. I’m getting the sense that this is the Holy Spirit. More and more energy slowly accumulates within me, and I’m feeling raised up, and with a slight twist. My entire subtle body seems to conform to the change in my crown chakra, though the heart chakra was already okay. Now I’m sensing greater communication and resonance with the heart and crown chakras. Lots of gentle subtle body work occurs.

Now I sense a projection from me, or perhaps I’m becoming aware of one which already existed, but now it’s very active, and the act of observing it is also changing it. I see it encompass, in many subtle ways, the entire world, and also reaching out in subtle ways across the cosmos to other planets. I’m filled with compassion as I do this, trying to generate it as best I can.

The sense I’m now getting is that this is a proper attunement with reality. At first it was the heart, and now it seems as if it is my entire subtle body, via the crown. I’m unsure whether the Holy Spirit wishes to speak or not. Now there’s there’s an unfolding within the vision, as if a paper had a cross cut into it, and now the four corners are rotated away via some kind of mechanism atop them, the upper-left corner rotated clockwise, and the remaining corners alternating between clockwise and counterclockwise, symmetrical about each axis.

There’s a focus about this cross, as if two hyperbolae (i.e., all four quadrants of the xy plane system were represented) were projected forward along the z-axis, approaching it but never quite touching it. This is, I’m told, like approaching a fixed star, a set point of, for example, the True Will. This represents the four elements set about the approach toward the fixed star: “They are unleashed and balanced within you. They may approach the fixed stars,” but also, I’m told, I’m always at the Center [of the Divine Sphere], I’m always this action of reaching towards the fixed stars [along this path from the center to a star along the surface of this sphere], and I’m also of the surface of the sphere itself.

This, I’m told, is of nature of the Holy Spirit: that flow, that constant flow, that allows this transition from Center to Sphere, that Radius that is seen by the four elements as they also project toward the surface of the sphere (along these hyperbolae). Yet at any given point, one is not actually at that surface of the Sphere. Thus the Holy Spirit is this awareness of that constant transitional state, while one remains at that Temporal Center (i.e., re-emerges into a new Center at each moment in Time). This is beautiful.

I’m feeling more energy coming about my face and throat, and I relax, and then I feel a sensation in my right eye. Nothing happens for a bit, and I try to concentrate. I am about to close the session, when I realize that I have forgotten to vibrate the title of the leaf. I pause to do so and I ask forgiveness for my error.

This helps me feel more energy coming off the leaf. Now there seems to be a cone originating from the midpoint of the crown chakra (recall that it be a sphere, the bottommost point of which touches the actual crown of the head), which encompasses my body. The sense I get is that this will be a mark about me of protection and guidance.

Now I feel like I’m being lifted up again. It’s like the Holy Spirit is on the cusp of speaking, but then seems to not wish to. Yet then: “Such Love hath the Lord God toward thee, hath He unto All. Rejoice now in this Love. Rejoice now in this Path and this Purpose set before you, this constantly unfolding Path, whereby thou know and give the Compassion of the Almighty unto All. A grand Unfolding hath He set about thee, and about All. Such Mercy hath He unto you. Rejoice in this Mercy and rejoice in this Blessing. Seek ye to rectify thy state so that you may live up to the phrase, ‘Made in His image.’ Feel now the Blessings of the Holy Spirit about thee, and rest easy in the knowledge that the Lord God loveth thee and hath grand plans for thee.”

Thus ends the vision.

Noon: Similar procedure.

Once again, I see the cross in front of me, and my eye is drawn to the center thereof, that point. It’s shown to me as this line of infinitude. I’m told, “You are a Ray. You are this Ray, starting at this point” (and I’m shown the date of my conception). I hear what sounds like a voice, and pause the vision to check on my wife. She’s fine.

I’m told to consider all of the forces which act upon an individual; “Everything travels in a straight line, with the exception of the curved spacetime caused by all of the forces acting upon it,” which is a deceptively simple statement. Trying to visualize it is quite difficult, yet I make the effort. It’s a constant wobble, wiggle, and turning in 3D space, yet it’s actually a straight line, if all of the forces across time were removed. The magnitude and multiplicity of all of the forces is far too much for us to comprehend, unless we go through a process to make ourselves aware of them.

I pause to concentrate again; generating lovingkindness and compassion here helps a great deal. Returning to the topic: I’m shown myself as being at the center of this cross, and I’m being reminded of the four corners of the sheet where a cross has been cut into it, and thus it is peeled away. This peeling away of the delusion of everyday reality, I’m shown and told: that’s what this process of today and tomorrow is about. I’m told that what I will have to do is find out how to be equally within all three worlds. “Your heart is sympathetic to the realm of Adam Qadmon, and now your crown is a mediator between the heart and the realm of Adam Qadmon. Your crown is being attuned to it,” but I’m told that I will come into these higher realms and forces, into this infinitude of Adam Qadmon, the Ain infinitude: the Ain Sof, but also the Ain itself. I’m told that the previous delusion of existence is being peeled away, as from these corners, and that I only have this cross to orient me, so it’s important to stay at the center of it, the origin point of what would be the xy-axis system, but also to remain in balance between the four elements. I’m also told to continue the lovingkindness, and that is what will continue to propel me forward.

I try to generate this lovingkindness in order to concentrate past some distracting images: this helps. I’m told to relax (with some wryness: “You’ve been told to relax almost every single time!”), and I do. So this will be the projective nature, but of what? That will be revealed to me tomorrow, I’m told.

Again, I believe this is all coming from the Holy Spirit, which is mediating between the entire realm of Adam Qadmon and where I am now. I ask whether God in His Mercy has anything else to show me. I don’t get the sense that there is, so I express my gratitude to the Most High, and the vision ends.

Sunset: Similar procedure.

I’m told to relax, which I do. I’m told that so much more will be revealed unto me, and that there is nothing to fear.

I generate lovingkindness and wait. I see a cube in a brightly lit space, gold in color, suspended in midair, but its bottom half falls apart into letters and numbers. It strikes me as a bit abyssal, but I make note of the four elements, represented by the four top sides of the cube, as they enter into reality. The Holy Spirit says that this is a good metaphor for what goes on; it’s like the elements need to enter in, but they also need to disperse. Yet with intelligence and initiation into the supernals, and observing the elements as they enter the four lower worlds, one can (with intelligence, keen insight, wisdom, and understanding) balance these out so that they enter in to the lower Three Realms at the appropriate moments, thus avoiding a lot of the negative effects (of unplanned addition or distribution of elements). (Writing this up, I’m also told that one can determine how much elements come in to the Tree of Life from Adam Qadmon at all). It’s sort of like having a good sense of when to act at the most opportune moment, I’m told.

I concentrate into this vision a bit more. I’m told to look into the numbers of spoken calls 1 & 2. As far as the matter of Leaf 1, I’m once again told, “Yes, complete the task that you have set before you. The Lord gives His blessing.” As far as trying to time it: it’s happening on God’s Time. I ask regarding my planned procedure regarding the final leaf, which is to read the second half in the morning, the first half at noon, and finally the leaf in its entirety at sunset. I’m told that the way I have it is good: it will be as good as can be expected.

I get the sense that this is it, but I vibrate the names of God again. Once again, I’m feeling the realignment of my crown chakra is about. It is aligning myself to easily traverse the realm of Adam Qadmon and back to the Tree of Life and the four lower worlds. I’m being attuned to be able to do that. I’m reminded once more that forward motion will continue with compassion and lovingkindness, so I sense that this will be my main focus of meditation for some time. I express my gratitude.

I become distracted by the external environment. This is how it will be, I’m told; I’ll need to attend to whatever is going on in the Tree of Life, and then return to whatever vision I have going on. I express my gratitude once more.

There is more to the vision, which I am choosing not to release except potentially upon request.