Gebofal, Day 26: The LIT Aethyr!

Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of LIT and the associated governors and Zodiacal Kings. Call to King Bynepor.

I just pour forth this compassion of the lotus-rose, to all of the angels and everything about me, and in so doing I become this rotation, this torus, again. I’m approaching spherical consciousness, very close to it, almost there, even though I’m on the fifth Aethyr and four more remain. There’s a little bit of a shimmer on the surface of the sphere, a tiny ripple, going about this torus/sphere. As I do so, the angels acknowledge that if I increase my concentration perfectly, I could probably hit perfectly spherical consciousness from here.

The angels are showing me a tree, and the angels note that a torus could be superimposed around the trunk, under the branches, and above the roots, but also a sphere could be circumscribed about the tree as a whole. If you change the parameters of the torus to make a double-sphere, then the dimensions of a tree can roughly be matched. The angels have me consider the twisting motion of a torus (like if you twisted a rubber hose whose ends were connect, so that the inside turned out and the outside turned in), the constant rotation which relates to the varieties of fortune.

I relate this to Adam Qadmon again, unintentionally. The angels say that this is okay. “Your mind can’t help but do that.” That can be considered like unto this force, they say, of Adam Qadmon, which can be considered like unto the force of the black-hole portal (I repeat, I’m aware of the difference between a black hole and a wormhole–this is the realm of metaphor). This is the force of Ain, which has its own dynamic when it becomes realized.

Things may change up, especially below the Abyss, where it might seem more chaotic. Here, above the abyss, it’s just this gentle rotation. They relate this vision back to the aethyr of ICH, and say this is when a certain character from that computer code gets sucked in to the supernals ahead of what might seem to be its schedule. That’s all part of this multidimensional rotation of spherical consciousness due to the multiplex force of Ain. The outer portion of the entire torus can be considered the realm of ICH itself. Likewise, one could extrapolate to some degree the inside of the abyss, which is to say Fortune seeming to shine on an individual, which for some may cause things to seem to “go well”: the Abyss, or Fortune, works good for themselves.

Getting back to the Aethyr of LIT, I consider how this relates to the tree I just saw. The angels note how that inner ring, where things are “going well”–and here King Bynepor comes to the fore to speak–“This regeneration, this generation of the tree, is like Fortune, or the Lot of Fortune, or the Wheel of Fortune, or the Torus of Fortune, hitting that tree and bringing about the growth, and you see outgrowth of that fortune in the general shape of the torus,” twisting upward in one sense [i.e., upper trunk and branches] but downward in another sense [lower trunk and roots].

I try to maintain concentration, and use this lotus-rose from my heart to do so. “Ah,” the angels say, “let’s take a look at this lotus-rose. So here we have this combination of pain within suffering [the thorns], that black sphere, and we have the portion beyond the abyss, the nice layers of the whitish petals, which are the post-abyssal consciousness (supernals).

“Separate two things,” they say. “The rotation of the sphere is caused by this force of the world of Adam Qadmon, which is ‘World without End,’ which has multiple dynamics when they hit this reality.” But what the angels are saying now is, “Look to…” (here I note my difficulty concentrating), “look to…

“The dynamic of Adam Qadmon is that space, right?” I try to remagnetize my heart, and that helps. The angels show that if you remagnetize to this space, you can consider that to be the general forward linear path toward the portal into this realm of Adam Qadmon. I vibrate the angels’ names, and they say to hold for a moment, and to relax.

“This forward path of the infinite line of Adam Qadmon–this forward path, this constant path, this walking of this path, this traversing of the path: this is one who has become magnetized to the line approaching Adam Qadmon. When one is in spherical consciousness, one remains about–revolving about the world of Adam Qadmon, in that consciousness, but it is not the line which enters it. One is caught up in the revolution of this spherical consciousness about Adam Qadmon, but in order to enter it, in order to realize the Enochian phrase which I’d previously translated, “CASASAM MAOFFAS QAA DE MIAM DE TON DAMPLOZ OLPIRT” (the abiding measureless garment [“created form”] of the continuance of all variety of light (i.e., the rainbow body))–in order to realize this, one has to be magnetized to the infinity. The angels clarify: there’s the bounded infinity of a spherical consciousness, and then there’s the unbounded infinity, which is the rainbow body, the boundless unfolding of that. A set of fixed stars can be considered an infinite direction that one goes, but in order to have compassion for all of those fixed stars, and thereby enter into a more infinite arrangement, one needs to take the path of the infinite line, and not merely the orbit of the (bounded) infinite sphere which orbits about the portal to the world of Adam Qadmon. You can have this infinite compassion, and continue upon it, but you won’t know the revolution about this infinite consciousness.

Complicated! But not overly so. The angels have set me straight, and I express my gratitude to them. Thus ends the vision.

Noon: Similar procedure; I make two calls to King Bynepor and two to the Aethyr, just because I sense my attention wandering.

I concentrate my heart upon this lotus-rose and I try to remain magnetized to the path toward the world of Adam Qadmon. The angels are showing me the same sphere, with the smallest of ripples upon it, and I can see tiny rainbows about the surface (again, this seems like vast distances across Aethyrs are being bridged now; usually such forthright visions of the sphere do not occur until later in the process).

The angels relate the rainbow and ripples to the energy of being near the orbit of the portal to the realm of Adam Qadmon. This is a metaphorical Roche effect. In principle, the angels say, this rainbow lighting is Chokmah energy to a degree, but that tiny ripple is due to the (metaphorical) gravity of the realm of Adam Qadmon. It’s that the sphere is approaching this metaphorical Roche limit, and I feel my heart being pulled towards that portal, because I have been working to remain magnetized to this path.

I ask the angels what else, in their generosity or mercy they or the Almighty may have. They suggest nudging myself a little bit closer towards this portal, so that I can feel and be truly magnetized to this path towards the realm of Adam Qadmon. The angels say to take the next few days to approach and, on Monday, to actually enter the event horizon of this portal.

The following 18 days, I’m told, will be an attuning to the elements in such a way that one doesn’t become imbalanced as one reaches this realm of Adam Qadmon. Note here, again, the importance of balanced elements appears again, as at key phases in the magical journey: Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, Crossing the Abyss, and now full realization of the realm of Adam Qadmon.

I see myself being slowly pulled closer to this portal. The angels say to think about the absolute minimum distance and to hold there. After 18 days, I will be in that event horizon, and on the 19th day I’ll be crossing into this realm, fully balanced and aware of the powers at play, including states that can arise astrologically and elementally (which is to say, changing the relative distance of geometric points vis a vis Chokmah, using the elements–this is a deep metaphor about the heart). I’m also told that to some degree this can be done with time (Saturn).

I express my gratitude. The angels say that there’s nothing for this particular scrying, and thus ends the vision.

Sunset: Similar procedure. Pain, depression, anxiety, about halfway between the prior scrying session and this one. Took anxiolytic.

The angels point out that I have kept the lotus-rose as a focus to magnetize me to the path to the portal into the world of Adam Qadmon. The angels advise that I stay on this path. “Don’t revert back, don’t deviate in any direction.”

The angels ask me to reflect on the rotation of the near-spherical consciousness which orbits this portal. They say that as long as I retain this spherical consciousness, that the rotation that I’m going won’t matter so much. Although today was a bit trying, they note, it’s an important reminder to continue to stay focused on this path, and on the world of Adam Qadmon. If I’m truly to make this transition, then I really shouldn’t be sidelined by events such as today’s. There will be other days that will be even more difficult, they comment. I take this to heart, and “in heart,” as it were. The angels say that the only way to get around the reality of daily difficulties is to work on the heart, and come from the heart, and to be pulled forward as by the heart.

At this point I realize that I haven’t called the zodiacal kings or the governors; the angels say that this is okay. I see some energy from the rotation of this sphere, coming as a result of proximity to this portal of Adam Qadmon. It’s a whirlwind (looking not unlike the effect of sling rings of Doctor Strange comics). Others are being drawn into this energy. It’s like I can’t help myself, I reply: I continue that motion. “That’s okay,” reply the angels. “That’s the circumference: you are tending to the circumference. Just ensure that your heart is aligned, dead center, to the portal, exactly to the path.”

I decide to vibrate the kings’ and governors’ names now. The angels say that this act was good, and that it heightened their power a bit, and to just always do so to just ensure that every part of the ritual includes calling from this path to the world of Adam Qadmon. Obviously, this is paramount to them now.

Now the angels explain that there’s only so much that they can show me without my getting pulled on this path in even more (i.e., to a later Aethyr before its time). They tell me to have my heart at ease: this is the right path. They bid me continue to stay focused: anything to do with the elements that they have to show me, if given early, will pull me into the event horizon of the portal into the realm of Adam Qadmon. Each part of this process needs to be taken slowly and deliberately. Even though these scrying sessions seem short, there’s a lot of karma being burned off, a lot of realignment, a lot of karma being played out. That allows me to continue directly forward, they advise. The angels tell me not to worry: my karma is being safeguarded right now, and to just not accrue new karma. These steps are causing it to be “burned off” or “played out,” so that I can go dead center into the portal without being imbalanced.

I express my gratitude to the angels, and ask if there’s anything else. “You can always take on the spherical consciousness” gained from my previous scrying sessions, they note, without actually invoking these higher Aethyrs, so if I wish to be more balanced, I may do that. “Just don’t try to leap ahead anymore” during the visions of the actual Aethyr scryings. They will actively block that.

With that, they close the vision, and I give my heartfelt thanks to the angels.

Gebofal, Day 21 (The “Super-Spooky” ZAX / Abyss Day)

Note: I’m clearly being a bit facetious with the title, but it serves the purpose of informing people that, yes, the abyss can be crossed even if there’s bizarreness or even a little horror associated with it.

Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of ZAX. Call to Governors LEXARPH, COMANAN, & TABITOM, to King Bnapsen, and to Zodiacal Kings Zinggen (Aquarius), Alpudus (Libra), and Zarzilg (Sagittarius).

I had been identifying with the lotus-rose, but the angels say not to: instead, to hold it by the sepals, which now wrap around to grasp each of my fingers gently. I get some distracting images and pause to vibrate the angels’ names and to breathe. I feel this welling up of compassion, and it pours forth in all directions about me, even towards the distractions and I follow the chain of their causation, and I get to the fundamental structure of the law. A snotgreen being tries to close a snotgreen curtain, and finally the governors force him back.

The angels open the veil, and create a triangle about me, and note that the four of us could also be a tetrahedron viewed from above. The zodiacal kings then form another triangle, and I’m at the center of a Merkaba symbol now. Finally, the angels are telling me that there’s another layer: I could be the eighth point of a cube, at the center of a 6-simplex, or a vertex of a 7-simplex. The angels are driving at what it takes to get into this higher-dimensional thinking.

I continue to hold compassion for everything about me, and I see an arm emerge, and it belongs to one of the Takers in season 5 of The Magicians, or the Pale Man in Pan’s Labyrinth. I note the constant attempt to fight the dispersion, and the angels tell me to hold fast in my position, so I do. There emerges a white cube, and he’s within it, and not liking being within it. He sort of reintegrates back into the environment.

I note the pattern but also note that if the dispersion-disruption cycle is accelerated, then it’s like if you ignore the hand which waves rapidly back and forth in front of your face: you still see and get the general idea of what’s happening. So the angels instruct me to speed up the process, and I begin circulating the compassion and concentration quickly. The angels and I are in our 6-simplex formation. I see a middle-aged guy in a really cheap-looking outfit superhero outfit with terrible wings.

I vibrate the angels’ names, and finally(!) the entire scene shatters into thousands of square mirrors which are all about me and whirling about me in a vortex. I try to crank up the compassion. This is like unto a realm of Binah, yet note the squares which show that this is still Abyssal. I concentrate, and the angels encourage me, “because all of these squares (signifying cubical consciousness) can be circled!” I concentrate really hard, and the energy shifts from the book, and I have compassion even for the concentration.

The angels indicate that all of these cubes will now curl into spheres, but I will still be able to see the cubes engraved upon them. (Note: My first encounter with Babalon in ZIP was of Her in a dress of crystal spheres). The grand concentration of the mind needs to be met equally with the compassion of the heart and I’m holding onto this lotus-rose to help me, and it holds me back. Each of the square mirrors was a thorn upon the rose, I’m told. I comment about the immense difficulty of this concentration, which is far higher than I recall the first time I scried this Aethyr!

Now the compassion and concentration are balanced as I try to magnify the former. Again, it’s a whirlwind of these mirrors. Figures try to step out, and now they don’t look like themselves, and I vibrate the angels’ names again, and the outer forms of the figures look like unto gray aliens now. (My cat comes in to interrupt). Having compassion helps them to looks somewhat more human, and I tell the angels that this is getting very fractal, and I ask if they have anything else, and what the endpoint and what understanding may be gleaned from this.

The angels say that what’s to be gleaned by this is that the vastness of knowledge that is to be had can go in any of these multitudinous directions. Yet if you inquire with an open mind and an open heart, they will begin to reflect like mirrors, and eventually you will begin to reach a point where they can all be concentrated into these spheres of awareness, but it takes a lot, and if you do it at this cosmic scale, such it will be. But the point is that the divine is there to be had. It takes work over a lifetime(s), and you can get some shortcuts, but this is the nature of that.

The aliens, I’m told, represent a conglomeration of knowledge that loses its awareness of its own divinity. This clicks everything into place and I just have so much compassion now for everything in this place, because that’s a bad state to be in. The angels say that this is enough for now, and that more will be revealed later, though I have the flavor of what this place is like now.

Noon: Similar procedure. I made three calls to King Bnapsen.

Once again I scry by holding the lotus-rose by the sepals. I see squid-like entities jump at me, but it’s like they hit this glass pane and slide down, ineffective. I generate compassion and lovingkindness and circulate it. I try to speed this up, and accelerate the process, and the general theme changes into square mirror, which transform into “sphered cubes,” which in this case is to say a transparent cube with a square etched on the inside. It’s difficult to see at this stage, though, because of the generated compassion.

Now I see a central column appear, it looks like a giant pleather cowgirl boot. I pause, regenerate compassion, and, seeing the dust that it generates from stomping the bottom of the chamber, I phase-shift through it. I grab hold of the boot like Jack in the Beanstalk, or a kitten, and the boot rises like someone looking at what’s gotten on their boot. It appears to be Babalon, in a cowgirl outfit (her fringe, & frilly skirt is particularly “80s cowgirl”!).

I’m hesitant, but She says to me, “No, you have the flavor of the lack of [this aethyr’s] lack of awareness of its own Divinity, but you are generating your own divinity here. You are aware of your own Divinity, which is why you’re seeing it. The fact that there can be a transition, even with an Abyssal aethyr like ZAX, that shows you the Power of Understanding and not letting go of It.”

She says she’s wearing this in honor of the fact that I’m a Taurus, so I’m very honored. She sets me down (after all, She’s hundreds of feet tall), and She begins dancing. It’s like she’s in a bullfighting arena, a (nonviolent) toreadora (or “matadora” or “mater tor”: “mother for”). The bulls are all black, and She allows them, and She invites me to join Her, and I do, and a bull charges me, and everything goes black, but I reappear, and She says that I need to dance, so my astral form does so, but it becomes more like country-style partner dancing. It’s like everything that comes to take away the Divinity in Us are not working.

I ask her specifically about the blood which She accumulates, and She says people the Sorrow because that’s what’s in their hearts. She says that I have “less Sorrow” and laughs. She holds up a black sphere, looking like crystal ball in her hands. She says that I am more aware of the transparency within the crystal ball than the blackness. For me, it’s a beautiful thing to gaze upon, but not what defines me.

I express my gratitude, and continue to hold onto the compassion and concentration. I ask the governors and kings if there’s anything else to be seen in this vision. I see a black dot approach me and come about me as a prison. “Remember I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,” a line from the poem “Sympathy” by Paul Laurence Dunbar (later used as the title of the autobiography by Maya Angelou; she herself later wrote a poem called “Caged Bird” with similar imagery to Dunbar’s). I concentrate into this phrase: the angels say that this is what I bring to this aethyr, which many others do not Understand.

I’m not sure what it means, but I note that I’m on Leaf 29a, and thus page 28b is open. Regardless, I express my gratitude, and the vision ends.

Sunset: Similar procedure. I made the call to ZAX twice.

I see the lotus-rose. I see this beautiful heavenly light shining down upon the blossom, and I can feel the light entering my physical hands from it. There’s a sense of peace and I try to circulate it in and through me. Everything’s quite balanced across the sub-abyssal and supernal worlds. This is what ZAX is, I’m told: a beautiful balance between these worlds.

It’s like my heart is starting to sing, and the lotus-rose is starting to sing, and it blossoms even more, and Babalon is appearing as a ballroom dancer in a sleek, shimmery, black outfit, the skirt cut up the outside of her thighs, with a tophat and is dancing with aid of a pole.

Now She flies and rotates about the x/z plane and lands upon the nape of my neck and I walk around, giving Her a ride about–the symbolism couldn’t be more obvious. Now She interlaces Her extended fingers into a roof, and rotates Her hands forwards and backwards about my skull: She seems to be doing quite subtle work to my sahasrara chakra and its relationship to the ajna chakra, which I cannot feel physically but know is there. This will improve the overall flow between them and also among them and the anahata chakra. There’s also extraordinarily subtle work She’s doing to my vishuddha chakra, which nevertheless (being a Taurus and all) I can feel. All of this is changing the dynamic among these four chakras.

“That’s it,” She says. She bows and takes her top hat off and gives me a wink. She briefly takes the form of Nuit and dissolves into the night sky, and I ask the angels whether there’s anything else. They say no, and I’m looking forward to tomorrow as the vision ends.

Gebofal, Day 20

Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of ICH (twice due to a lack of concentration the first time). Call to King BALIGON after Stenwick’s method. Once again, though I may have not made it clear from recent visions, I am generating compassion, and sitting astrally upon a throne. I align all seven chakras concentrically, and the legs of the throne are an exact cube. I also call on the seven angels of today (3 zodiacal kings, 3 governors, and the heptarchical king), in rounds of seven (I’ve been doing seven rounds more or less from the beginning).

The angels open a zipper, and I see an eye from the separation of fabric. It’s a catlike or Sauron-like eye, and I’m drawn/pushed/pulled towards it. I enter the iris. About me is red. I concentrate and show compassion. The red pours into a figure in front of me, and it’s the Flash, an evil version of him (as opposed to all the other speedster villains, let alone his complete Rogues gallery!). This version runs around me, and I’m just having compassion for all of this showing up in this very dispersive way.

I pause to call on the angels; doing so two more times in addition to the seven times I called on them earlier seems to do the trick. This seems to have taken me to the opposite side of the eye, the retina, and they open it like a door. White light pours in, and I’m bidden to walk forward, which I do.

Now I’m at a halfway point, and I see (in the white light in front of me) computer code characters like from The Matrix. In front of me, it’s flowing upward (exalted knowledge), where as behind me it descends into this black wave or goo (the angels confirm that this is Choronzon). It’s like where I am it’s literally looking like a “mouth of the Abyss.” There’s this big cresting black of information, looking like a “heavy” (tall, surfer-worthy) wave, sort of held in this position as from a force-field, and I’m in the spot where it would normally be about to crest and knock me over. On the other side is light and well-ordered information. And all of this is being exchanged in an orderly manner, basically on account of the latter. This is the maximal height of the infernal realms, I’m told–but no further. The green bits of code themselves, and not the infernal portions, get sucked into the white part.

I have compassion for all of this. It’s very wild. I stay enthroned, and the angels remind me of the checklist: enthroned, compassionate towards all I see, all possibilities that were or could have been, and to continue to do this across all of time. At this point, it’s probably to try to condense all of this into this lotus-rose symbol. It will seem like unto mud at bottom, if you hold it there, and like pain if you hold it at the stem, and the blossom will always be attached there.

But now the angels are telling me to progressively move inward from the sepal to the petals and finally to the very center of the bloom. I see a bee emerge from the flower. It reminds me of my first trip through the Aethyrs, but even the bee within the flower could sting me, but only if treated badly.

I’m taken now, by a caped superhuman character (I’ve been watching Invincible on TV lately). It’s like I’m being tested, so he punches me several dozen times quickly, but this is more like additional subtle body therapy on the being’s part. I maintain concentration, and offer the hero a lotus-rose, and he disappears. The angels disappear, and it’s like my subtle body had simply absorbed the energy of the punches and sustained no trauma.

Noon: Similar procedure.

I see a smile, and it’s Venus flytrap smile, and it approaches me and swallows me. The overall shape of the mouth which swallows me is spherical (note: see previous visions on the black sphere) but I’m swallowed into a white space, not into a belly.

The angels suggest I begin fusing previous symbols. The cube of the throne is simplified into its 8 corners, which are now the thorns on the rose. The concentric spheres which were my chakras can now be the petals of the lotus-rose. I hold the flower by its sepals, and a few of the sepals seem to unfold like inviting fingers; I decide to put one finger out and it curls around my finger like an infant finger does.

Yet for the rest of my hand I continue to hold the flower about the stem, but ask the angels whether I ought to hold it in a higher location. The flower itself sways about the stem like Baby Groot. There’s something about the bee in the center of the blossom, now. It comes to sting me below the right eye (again such an eye would see good, whereas the left would see evil). The bee takes its hat off (yes, it’s wearing a hat), and flies back to the blossom.

The gold-and-black remind me of Tiphareth and Da’at, respectively, with the latter being associated with “crossing the Abyss.” Thus this could represent the path of Gimel between Tiphareth and Kether, which includes Da’at. Nonetheless I’m also reminded of how they transport and sometimes eat pollen and collect nectar. Finally, I recall from a previous vision that the angels likened themselves unto bees of the Divine’s projects, often leaving structures for humanity to use.

I continue to process the many qualities and activities of bees. In this context, bees gather from the heart. Now, the angels say, is a unified symbol which can be used to integrate this into an entire angelic system. This is how things ought to go, they say. The angel is at the center, at the apex. The remaining symbols can be fused as follows. The square pyramid (by extension, the regular octahedron) is like unto the stem (because it is a dual polyhedra with the cube), and is the difficult work it takes to create this sort of awareness out of suffering. The lotus is like the symbol atop the pyramid (recall we saw this as a sphere earlier), the spiral about the earth is like the lily of the lotus, again in a roughly teardrop shape. All of this works fractally, up from the “world” of an individual person to the entire planet or even universe. At this last level, the bee merely sits upon this apex of the collective heart of all, resting within this glory, which is the heart of the Divine.

This apex shows an opening all the way across the Abyss into a very narrow window into the world of Adam Qadmon. I can see directly across the Abyss, and there’s this portal or wormhole awaiting for me at the very end, and as I get to LIL, I can see, all will be much more apparent. It dawns on me to scry a sevenfold LIL (“Madriax dspraf LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL de LIL”: “O you heavens which dwell in LIL of LIL of … of LIL”) at the very end, and the angels say yes, but to save that for the evening, which will lead to me saying the name of the heaven seven times in all. Audible! I express my gratitude.

I see a hawk about the wormhole and the bee is trying to fuse with it. It reminds me of Aiwass and Heru-Ra-Ha. I’m trying to see more about it, and I’m trying to concentrate into this point to see more. It will be grokked, the angels inform me. The only way to see into it is to cross the Abyss, so I’ll save that for tomorrow and Sunday.

The vision ends.

Sunset: Similar procedure. As with last night, I have to repeat the call twice due to poor concentration.

I’ve noticed a distinct group effect to this ritual in my social circle, so I do my best to hold them in spirit as I focus on the lotus-rose during this part of the ritual. Energy is coming up off of the leaf and the seal. There’s a strong emotion to continue to hold on and complete this task due to this group effect arising in me, and I know that tomorrow will be the climax of that, and I’m tempted to look ahead to Sunday when this part of the ordeal will be over, but I see Babalon smiling at how I have no idea what I’m in for on Sunday.

The energy of my arms is quite noticeable, a rising energy, and now it seems to flow from my torso into these arms and into the hands and finally is raised in a vertical plane of energy into the heavens. I see quick visions of what I’ve seen before: I pass through the eye of Sauron, past the wave of black goo full of green Matrix computer code, and fully into the whiteness, or at least the first two are behind me. Here, this whiteness, is the Abyss. It’s white because of how tightly I’m holding onto the heart, and I’m being given a lot of support to do so, and express my gratitude.

Now a welling-up of emotion towards those who I’ve had raw emotions about today: friends, acquaintances, and now even people from long ago. I force myself to hold them in my focus and the pain I’ve caused them through so much Will (now I remind myself that my experience of the nature of dukkha won’t be like this all the time). I want so much, because I am intensely aware now of all of the energy of the sum total of any and all bad behavior I’ve ever done, because it’s condensed into this moment, yet it’s combined with all of the people who are harmed by all of the harm done by Anyone, Ever and at the same time, it is this vast cosmic energy, and I see myself as a Cosmic Unity of Raw Pain of Sentience, like me in the position of Batman holding Jason Todd, but instead it’s me like an Alex Grey painting, and I’m in full cosmic color holding a limp, departed soul and looking upward, Pain on my Face. Yet I’m still holding this same compassion and trying to hard to relax, though my heart chakra and mind race at 100 miles a minute through the agony of It All–

OK. This is it, and it’s okay. It’s okay, and it’s perfect as it is, and any other project notions of perfection that you may have: the act of thinking them is itself perfect.

Now I feel some energy on my two shoulder blades, and there’s like some miniature psychic surgery going on to my heart chakra. Now I see something like unto a squid but beholding it now, I see that it is like a jellyfish, but actually is, an eyelid forming full 360-degree circle of eyelashes, with no eye. I don’t know what to say, and perhaps there’s nothing to say to such. The skin makes a bubble and it uses its eyelashes to make a circle on the whiteness and then enters it, and upon its eyelashes, the skin making an elegant half-sphere.

There’s a real opportunity here for Grace. This is the intelligence and perhaps what can be considered the heart of the Abyss, and I hold compassion for it. I see a drip into a sphere of water, like slow-motion. The angels say that I need to be able to grok this. “Reach in and grok this without disturbing it.” The sense I get is ignorance, which means “without knowledge” but specifically without gnosis, a spiritual, illuminated knowledge of one’s own Divinity, which is the kind of knowledge that should immediately trigger Understanding of Binah. The issue here–and here I get something of a warning look from an older man with an inner head-strap set (such as you would see on older astronauts) and glowing blue, laser-vision eyes–and here several words come to me: violence, turning-over, schism, splitting–none of these are right. I recall the origin of Chokmah as an input-output necessity created by any neuron, the first time I scried ICH a couple of years ago. The original input must by necessity be transformed.

Now, at the universal level, what the angels are talking about is the transformation of reality from one moment to the next. If you reduce the universe down to a series of space-time stamps, one instant to the next, and these to be like 3D versions of frames of a film and put them in order, then from one moment to the next, Da’at is like the sum total of all of the rules which causes the spacetime transformation. It is an absolute, with no regard for whether one is a human being or an atom of hydrogen on Jupiter or a photon being absorbed in that instant by a neutron in a neutron star. It’s an absolute enforcement of all of the rules enabling this transformation. Note that here we have both time and space, suggestive of Binah and Chokmah, but stripped of awareness or sight of its own Divinity: such a tragedy! I reflect for a moment on the Tree of Life about how it could go from Geburah to Chokmah.

This is why it’s so difficult to get into the higher sephiroth such as Binah: if you want to Understand why a Divine principle works, it must be absolute and to your core, whether you Like it or not, or what you may have Expected it to Be or not, or like something you were Taught in School or not. As far as the Meaning of this is concerned: this may be sum total of the rules, but getting into the Why the Rules of why things are like this in the first place is when the individual is stepping into the Supernal rule. Because Da’at offers no reason for them here.

Now the Leaf is almost done, so I return to the circular eyelid. I love it and I accept it for what it is, and with that, it passes outside of its circle, and I walk into, through, and past its circle, and through a door, symbolic of my encountering the Abyss itself tomorrow. I’m seeing how certain things want to be revealed and understood at each Aethyr and am respecting this. I ask the angels, the zodiacal kings and governors, and King Baligon, whether they have anything else. They give me the lotus-rose to me, and it scratches my face, and I’m holding it with half of my fingers on the inside of the sepals and being held by them, the other half still holding it from the outer parts of the sepals.

The vision ends.

Gebofal, Day 10

Sunrise: Call to Aethyr of ASP. Call to King BABALEL via the Stenwick method, but not using Enochian Keys. I vibrate the title of Leaf 40b. Once again, allergies are pretty bad.

I feel King BABALEL’s energy come up through the seal and into my foot, and up through my right hand, which is on Leaf 40b. I reflect on having watered the front and back yards, and it feels as if this energy is bubbling up into my subtle, like a spring, and this energy is mainly that of King BABALEL, whose power is in the waters. Even though this ritual is being done with a lot of Aries energy (with five planets in this sign now), this is nonetheless a watery energy today, just with more spread, as one would expect with Aries.

I try to focus and relax. This energy is now coming up through my neck and head and is alleviating my allergies. It’s this energy is the equivalent of heavy water pressure through a flexible tube, opening it up and clearing it out. I’m encouraged to focus on the white sphere of compassion, and I’m told to always focus on the heart of compassion when I call the Aethyrs from here on out. As I focus on it, a lot of things seem to open up; it’s like parting the Red Sea; the excellence of this point will be made to clear to me as I go along, they tell me.

I see all sorts of things about me as I do this. The angels tell me this is like automatically magnetizing myself back to the center. This allows for the unfolding of yourself; yesterday, with the vision of myself like a spring stretched out and ultimately flooded out to the circumference. This sort of “magnetizing-the-heart-via-compassion” back to this psychic center. It’s like one starts out in the Red Sea, sort of drowning in the vicissitudes of dukkha and random, jumbled thoughts and such, but charging the heart is like using the staff (or, referred to earlier, the torch) will part the seas and allow one to measure the diameter of the sphere. King BABALEL agrees, noting his white and black sleeves, both ways that the sea can appear. The whiteness is the white sphere of compassion which can penetrate out through the mind, and can take oneself to the extent of the sea along the surface of the sphere, always using that light as the guide to traverse the waters.

King BABALEL is showing me a large fish, perhaps four feet in length, that he’s pulling from the Red Sea and gutting, and he reminds me of Raphael from the Book of Tobit, who used the innards of a fish to rout a demon into Egypt, and bind it there. King BABALEL tells me that Egypt is the circumference of the black sphere itself (for those who are imbalanced, this may appear instead as a black cube). King BABALEL says, “This is you; it is the tendency of people to become caught up in the waters” of the mind/emotions. It’s wonderful to be able to banish this to the circumference, he says, but if one identifies with the circumstances that one finds oneself in, or stories, then one will continue to swim around in the darkness, forever lost. But by lighting up the heart of compassion within this darkness, one can at least get one’s bearings, and one knows that this light will help one to do that. The killing of the fish is important to in order “paint the outside” (i.e., the surface of the sphere, the extent of oneself), using the measure of the heart of compassion to do so (i.e., to find the opposing side of the recently painted part of the sphere).

It’s also important to find lines of intersection with the white cube, King BABALEL notes, and one does this by using the small white sphere to light up the extent of the black sphere, and when one finds something lighting up more than one would expect, then one knows one is near the intersection with the ordering white cube. Again, the white cube represents an ideal way to reduce suffering via mundane means. The white cube will rotate and sometimes suddenly, as one finds a more efficient tool to accomplish a task or finds better ways to accomplish the ending of suffering.

Another object appears above me. It’s a single point which is above the four corners of the top square, which allows for the emergence of a square pyramid. The ascent of this pyramid can be thought of as approaching the common/collective center, across other people’s spheres, for the top point of this pyramid is also the top of other pyramids of varying sizes which are rotated in some manner. The correct orientation towards these four-ish points.

How does one distinguish these four points? These will be the points or contaminates which seem to cause the rotation of the sphere. I ask quickly about the fish, and I’m told not to worry as much about the Book of Tobit, but instead to focus on the inability of ancient Egypt to uphold itself over additional millenia than it managed. The collective black sphere wasn’t tended to enough, but despite that, we are now here, at this threshold point among sentient beings, to be able to rectify this.

I express gratitude, and the vision of ASP ends; I know this got pretty symbolic, but, hey: that’s Enochian!

Noon: Call to ASP, call to BABALEL, hand on page 40a.

I extend forward with my heart of compassion and now instead merely seeing the Red Sea part, I now divisions of the sea in three dimensions, as if I were in the middle of the sphere and rings extending from the origin of a 3D grid along the x/y, x/z, and y/z planes, out to the edges of the sphere. I see this extension with the heart causing a circulation of light out to these rings and returning to the heart. I’m told that this is like unto the Middle Pillar Ritual.

I now see a lily which is merged with a monarch butterfly. It’s as if they are one organism. The lily is beautiful; now comes the interpretation. I call on the angels of this scrying session: Governors Chirspa, Toantom, Vixpalg, & King BABALEL. The angels seem awfully coy as to what this is, yet it strikes me as Kether fused with the remaining sephiroth–the living reality creating seeds as it goes, yet fused with that which it creates seeds by. This is sufficient, they tell me. I try to extend this scene by the same principle of the compassionate heart, and this causes a rotation in the vision; first, I see this natural scene rotate, with the field churning about a torus; this yields a wooden crown with several, perhaps 12 or more, stalks. The twisting action then yields into a golden crown, which twists into an etheric crown, which itself rotates into a “crown of all possible rotations.” Finally, I see a collective rotation across that which has manifested within all of the possible rotations. It’s all very beautiful “Doctor Strange, eat your heart out,” I quip.

The angels say that this rotation and twisting is key. All of this is the rotation of the collective heart as it moves through. It’s beautiful to watch, it’s awe-inspiring, a literal circle of life. The angels are saying that we’re getting pretty close to this level of collectivity.

My heart is trying to speed this rotation up to the level that it feels like a vibration out of this, and this creates quantum shift, the light side of a flatline, if you will. Once again, see a white square. I briefly think of the True Will, but decide to set that aside.

I return to the angelic governors and king. They create a tetrahedron about me, and once again remind me that this could be a five-cell instead. The angels show themselves approaching with the same heart (note: typing this up, the importance at this stage is the angels themselves approaching with this same heart, but “the training wheels will come off,” I’m told). This creates a spinning tetrahedron with psychedelic colors. It’s like the law of light-bridges, but a continuous churning of form and light. “Behold His Wonders, behold His Wonders, churning and turning and churning again, in and through all. Nothing need you fear, Son of Man, Son of God, Son of Earth.” It’s like something out of 2001, or what I’ve been told about DMT trips.

It’s beautiful. I can feel my whole energy body taking this in; it’s transcendent and reminiscent of the higher Aethyrs, those beyond the Abyss. I’m coming in with the advantage of having already scried the Aethyrs. The key is to approach with this compassionate heart. “This is part of the process of fusing the heavenly and earthly rainbow bodies at once.” This is the reaching of the next octave. I’m at a loss for words. The angels say that I should try to keep this energy going throughout the day, and it will manifest as an overlay to the reality I’m seeing. They were not kidding around when they said that this would happen. The angels say they aren’t ending the vision but rather closing their active participation in the vision and encouraging me to enjoy the experience.

Sunset: Similar procedures.

I feel a pleasant energy from Leaf 40. Once again, the governors & king extend the compassion towards me, creating the psychedelic visuals. There’s too much to describe. I see a door in outer space, and as I walk through frame, I see different versions of myself following me. It’s like my motion is pulling through the door has a wicking effect on these alternate versions, like xylem in a plant.

I turn my gaze to the left of the door I am looking back on. I see a large star. I’m beckoned to it, and it’s yellow like our sun. I see a chair in the middle of it and am offered it. I sit and I see a dragon, maroon and pink, with light blue tinges at the edges of the wings. It turns into a seahorse. King BABALEL agrees with what I’m thinking: this is my reconciliation with astrological Mars. He bids me hold the seahorse, which I do, and he fits in my palms. It transforms into a newborn.

I’ve never held a newborn.

And now I see that it is me.

All the compassion that I would have for myself at this moment: this is what I need to have for the entire universe. King BABALEL notes that with Mars as my malefic out of sect, above the horizon, and in its domicile–the only thing missing is Mars being angular–but with such a strong and itchy Mars, one could tend to pick fights, or feel like everyone is against oneself. Still, I recall the Robert Anton Wilson phrase, “There is no enemy anywhere.” Instead, I need to direct this Martial energy with the principle of it needing to move in such a way as to reduce suffering.

“Really care for that as you would an infant.”

I am utterly touched by this. The vision ends.